Life Lessons

That’s Normal For A Man Your Age

I turned seventy this year.  Turned is how my wife and granddaughter refer to birthdays.  We turn.  It’s a turning day.

When you are young you are happy to celebrate birthdays because they come with presents, birthday cakes and a rousing song.  As you get older, you’re happy to just  have birthdays.  They are a positive sign that things are moving forward and you are still a part of the movement.  That’s a good thing.

Recently, I have experienced a number of people referencing the aging process.   I met with my broker this summer to make arrangements to start drawing from my investments.  You are required to withdraw from your IRA when you reach 70 and a half.   I haven’t referred to my age in such increments since I was in single digits.  Five and a half is a big deal with you reach that half.   Five…five and a half…six…six and a half – you see the pattern. Those are six month milestones as you click through the early years.   The only time the half comes into play as you age is 70 and a half.  BINGO!  That’s me.

I am in the process of establishing a new doctor in Florida.   My wife and I are snowbirds.  We spend our summers in Michigan and winters in Florida.  Spring and fall are up for grabs.  I thought it would be a good idea to locate  a doctor in Florida before I need a doctor in Florida.  I am channeling my inner boy scout…be prepared.

When you meet a new doctor they want to know about your medical history.  There are forms to fill out, questions to answer, lists to compile, and personal self discovery physical inventories to assess.  I developed my own list of acronyms to review with the doctor.  While most of us are familiar with ED, you may not be familiar with others.

HT – hammer toe

GTH – gray thinning hair

TL – takes longer (This applies to everything.  My world just takes longer.)

ST – skin tags

WEBH – wild eye brow hair

EH – ear hair

TTN – thickening toe nails  (also know as TN – thickening toenails)

SS – spine spurs

LC – leg cramps

CH – chest hair (A lot of guys have chest hair but most of it in patches.  Mine is a singular four inch hair scattered randomly.)

PPS – poor pee stream

DHTGBAFAIUT – Don’t hit the golf ball as far as I used to

You get the picture.  As you age things change.  You establish a new baseline.  You’re told, “That’s normal for a man your age.”

The problem is I’ve never been this age before so I’m unfamiliar with this new territory.  I expect this new normal will be a constant evolution.  While there’s some comfort in knowing I’m normal, I’m missing the normal I was in my 40’s, 50’s and 60’s.   I’m also hoping they say, “That’s normal for a man your age” as I reach my 80’s and 90’s.

Last week I unknowingly put on my golf shirt inside out.   Ruth looked at me during dinner and asked if I had worn the shirt that way all day.   I had to reply, yes, as it was the truth, and I only tell true stories.  I told her I put it on the way it was hanging in the closet.  She replied she hung it up as it was left in the laundry.  My guess is both actions are normal for men and women our age.  (She’s 70 and a half too.)