Anastasia Kabatkina

I met Anastasia Kabatkina on October 31, 1997  at the Metro Detroit Airport.  I was one of many friends and family who welcomed her to her new home in Michigan.

The last time that I had been a part of such an airport crowd was 1958 at the Willow Run Airport just ten miles  west of    Detroit Metro.  I was part of a large group of family who were welcoming my Aunt Millie and her family back to the states after my Uncle Joe’s tour of duty with the Air Force in England.  I was hanging on to my mother’s coat while she held my Grandpa Barner’s hand on a bitterly cold February evening.  My Grandma Barner had died two months prior and this was the first time that my grandfather was going to see his youngest child without his wife, Margaret.

This group of well wishers in 1997 was more joyous.   We were celebrating the arrival of three and a half year old Anastasia who a couple of days prior had become my youngest niece, Susan Louise.  When I first saw her she reminded me of a Christmas elf.  She was small in stature even for a three and a half year old.  I later found out that she weighed twenty-three pounds.   By my account most the weight consisted of a big smile and huge, round, bright eyes.

My sister, Sharron, never married.  She decided to take the adoption path to having her own child.  The trip to Detroit Metro on that October Halloween night had begun nine months prior.  Sharron started the adoption process with a required check of her health and finances, reviews by local and state officials, and a FBI background check.  The review process included three home visits before receiving the OK to proceed.  When she told me of her plans I thought that she might be  taking on more than she was prepared to manage, but I kept my opinion to myself. Having a child is a huge commitment.  Adopting a child from a foreign country at age forty-seven was not something that I thought she could handle.   I was wrong.

Prior to October 26, 1997 the only foreign country that Sharron had visited was Canada.   Such a journey required a trip over a bridge or through the Detroit/Windsor Tunnel.   The trip to Vyska required much more.  Vyska is a town in Nizhny Novgorod Oblast, Russia, located on the Oka River 116 mi southwest of Nizhny Novgorod, formerly know as Leningrad.   Sharron and her traveling companion, Sandy Lyon, flew from Detroit to Moscow on the 26th and arrived on the 27th.  Sharron had planned to make the trip solo, but after learning that Sharron would be making the trip alone, Sandy – encouraged by her husband – stepped up.  What a great friend!  Sharron hadn’t considered inviting anyone to accompany her as she thought, “it’s not like I was going to the movies or shopping”.

After arriving in Moscow the two travelers took an eight hour, two-hundred and fifty mile, train ride to Nizhny Novgorod.    They spent the night and completed the trip to Vyska with a four-hour car ride the following morning.

Vyska was the site of at least three orphanages, each housing approximately one hundred and fifty children.  Each site was the home to a different age group. Upon arrival Sharron met with Anastasia for about an hour.  While this hour was the first time that they had seen each other face to face, they recognized one another from photos that had been exchanged.  They played catch with a beach ball and Anastasia passed the remainder of the time by being held on Sharron’s lap.  Sharron also gave her a book and a toy horse as a gift.   Anastasia was surprised and the interpreter told Sharron that Anastasia said, “so many toys”.  Her impression of what constituted “many toys” would soon change.

After the initial hour had passed, Anastasia went off to have lunch and take a nap while Sharron went to meet with court officials to sign the appropriate adoption documents.  Before Anastasia could become Susan, she had to  return all of her Russian processions.  She was given to Sharron just as naked a new-born baby when it’s first seen by its mother.

Sharron dressed Susan in her new clothes and the now three travelers got into a car for the four hour ride back to Nizhny Novgorod.  Tuesday had been a full day with two four hour car rides sandwiched around a mother and child’s first meeting and the adoption proceedings.

Tuesday night was spent in the home of a young Russian woman, Christina, who had an apartment where she allowed  adopting parents to stay. She could speak English.

On Wednesday the three companions slept on the train for their eight hour train ride back to Moscow.

The three went to a Russian clinic on Thursday for Susan’s  final medical exam and inoculations.  Later they went to the American Embassy to get Susan’s visa.  Sandy and Sharrron entertained Susan throughout the day by having her put coins in and out of a change purse. Sandy recently told Sharron that the only time Susan cried was when Sharron was out of sight in the shower. Susan was reluctant to change her clothes until she was shown that she had something else to wear.  When you don’t have much, you guard what you have. They stayed Thursday night with an older Russian woman who did not speak English.

Susan, Sharron and Sandy flew back to Detroit on Friday.   They arrived late in the evening and were met by family and friends.  They were weary travelers, happy to be home.  Sharron and Susan spent the next several days with my mom and dad.  Susan’s first bath in America took place in  mom and dad’s bathroom sink.  All twenty-three pounds fit just fine.

The next days, weeks, months were marked by Susan and Sharron becoming local celebrities.  They were the talk of the region and several newspapers wrote stories about Susan and her adoption.  Susan thrived her new home and learned English by being totally immersed into her new American life.  After a while, she was just Susan.

Susan’s story continues.  She has spent the last almost twenty-one years in her new home becoming the talented young woman that she is today.  Her growth has been that of a typical American child.  She has enjoyed success and experienced failure.  She’s gone to school, earned a degree and has her almost dream job of working in a veterinary hospital.  (I think that she’d like to work in a zoo.)  Not every day is as joyful as her first in America, but not every day is always perfect for anyone.

While today is officially her 24th birthday, I believe that her true beginning to becoming the woman that she is today began in late October of 1997.