David and Michael dated several girls in high school, college, and early in their work careers. I liked them all but one. Michael dated one girl for a brief time that I found unusual. I don’t remember her name but she was focused on Michael. Fortunately, the focus wasn’t mutual and the relationship ended quickly. But looking back, one strange encounter out of the hundreds that the boys dated isn’t bad. Good judgement is one of their many fine inherited qualities.
When your kids reach a certain age you know that the next new guy (for Elizabeth) or girl (for David and Michael) could be the “one”. You hope that you will like their choice, but you know that in the end what you think as no real bearing on the outcome. They are going to fall in love with whomever they choose. Sometimes, love chooses you. You hope for kindness, respect, shared values, goals, and a bit of lust.
After Michael graduated from college a few girls asked him to join them as they moved out of the area and on to their new career locations. He declined until Kate proposed a similar arrangement. That’s when I knew Kate was special.
Ruth and I met Kate, AKA Katie, a couple of years prior to their move to California. Michael brought Kate with him to have lunch with Ruth and me in Lansing. I knew that I may be meeting the “one”. I have always looked upon myself as a good reader of people. My first impressions are usually on the mark. I completely whiffed with Kate. The last three girls that Michael had introduced us to (in order of appearance) were a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. He had never introduced us to a black-cherry, cropped haired, girl all dressed in black. My first thought – she’s goth. She was pretty, but I found her look to be very different from the other girls I’d met.
I don’t recall our second encounter but the “goth” was gone. In its place was the all-American, career-focused girl. She shared her job, her college education, and her interests. She had been an outstanding (my word) softball player in high school, was offered a scholarship to play for Brown University, attended, and played for a semester. She returned to Michigan and completed her education at the University of Michigan. Smart girl.
One of our next meetings took place in Florida. Michael and Kate visited us at our Florida home. One evening we decided to go to one of the recreation centers to shoot pool. The game of choice was eight ball. Kate and I had differing opinions regarding the correct way to end the game. After discussing two options, we agreed upon a competition path. As I walked around the table to “break” the pool balls, I thought to myself, “I’ll look up the rules on the computer when I get home.” Before I took my shot, she had looked up the rules on her phone and began reading them aloud. This encounter took place about a dozen years ago, and at that moment, I found Kate. That’s who she is. That’s how she rolls.
After Kate and Michael married I uncovered more about Kate. She’s more than a beautiful career woman. She’s athletic, swings a golf club as fast as a softball bat, likes to compete, prefers winning, knows how to effectively operate a slot machine , and is very artistic. (The list of non-athletic talents and interests caused Michael to say, “I’ve married my mother.”) She draws beautiful pictures and has embraced a form of doodling called Zentangle drawing. She’s very accomplished.
About a year ago, she and Michael began to “dump paint”. Dump painting is a free form style of painting using acrylic paint, floetrol, and a blow torch. They set up an art gallery in their California home and when they visited our home in The Villages, Florida last November, they set up a dump paint production room in our garage.
Ruth has shared her new-found love of dump painting with several of her Florida friends, and now women are dumping throughout The Villages.
You hope that you’ll like your daughter-in-laws and son-in-laws. If you end up liking most, and tolerating the rest, I expect that you’ve done well. Ruth and I are very lucky. We love them all. Even our “goth” with black-cherry, cropped haired girl, all dressed in black.