Good Friends

I mentioned “good friends” in a prior story and was asked “What makes a good friend?”   I believe that friendship means different things to different people.  For some of us just knowing someone makes them a friend.  For others, an on-going relationship is an important criteria.  Here’s mine.

Good friends are there whenever you need them.  You don’t need to see each other on a regular basis.   Their commitment to you is ongoing.   They have common interests but don’t always agree with you.  They aren’t afraid to point out the “error of your ways” but recognize when it’s time to save their opinion for another day.  You share your dreams without fear of ridicule, no matter how far out your dreams may be.  You can ask for advice and offer yours even if it’s not requested.

A good friend will pick you up or drive you to the airport just because they can.  You  play golf and poker together.  You can have differing political views and believe in an after life or not.  You share your family with each other.  You travel.  You laugh together and cry.

I’ve been lucky throughout my entire life.  I have had, and still have, many friends.  I have childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, workplace friends, social friends, and now I have retirement friends.  I’ve lost some friends and their absence is a constant ache in my heart.

Last week two of my childhood friends, Mitch and Rudy, drove to Northville to join me watch my son-in-law play “a gig” at a local brewery.  I hadn’t seen Rudy in over thirty years and the last five times that I saw Mitch were at my dad’s funeral, his wife, Sandy’s funeral, his mom’s funeral, my mom’s ninetieth birthday party and my mom’s funeral.  We talked with each other like we had seen each other just yesterday.  We reminisced, laughed, spoke freely, and made promises to each other that I hope we all keep.  (Yes, I’m going to my fifty-fifth high school class reunion.)

When I got home I pulled out my high school yearbook and found the following messages from my two friends.

To Teebs,

You are the only guy I know who can invent dances while playing baseball.  We have had some great times together.  Maybe I’ll be seeing you at Western.  Best of luck to you and may God Bless.  Rudy  “65”

I have a very few friends that call me Teebs.  I like it.  It’s casual and unique.  We didn’t connect at Western.  You were there for a very short time, went into the service, and by the time you returned, I had moved on.

As for dancing on the baseball field, I had forgotten that skill set.  It does explain how my grandson, Brady, acquired his talent for dancing on the baseball diamond.   I’ve witnessed his upon several occasions. Apples don’t fall far from trees even if they skip a generation.

Bob,

What can I say to a guy who has been like a brother to me.  I’ll never forget ya.  I hope our friendship never ends.  May all your dreams and wishes come true.   God Bless You,  Mitch  “65”

You don’t need to say anything.   You are my oldest friend.  You were the first guy I met in the neighborhood and you remained my wingman throughout high school.  You went into the service, I went off to college, and then life happened.   Every time we meet it seems like we just spoke yesterday.

Several years ago a song came out that sums it up for me.  I loved it then and I love it today.  Take a look, listen, and share it with a friend even if he has to listen from heaven.