My New Career Path

My great fear when I retired from what I call my “real job” is what I would do with all of my new-found “retirement time”.  Luckily, I landed a consultant position with Michigan Works, and I have been able to spend part of my retirement time working.

I added “blogging” to my list of things to keep me out of trouble, and I enjoy it.   However, I am always ready to explore other options.

On one of my trips to the local pharmacy during Ruth’s recent illness, I stood in a line with fifteen people in front of me while I waited to have her prescription filled.  Normally, I would have left and returned another time, but I knew that Ruth needed the prescription  so I waited as patiently as possible.   While I waited I noticed the two shelves pictured below and set out to outline a new business.

I believe that I have stumbled upon a potential “gold mine”.   While I don’t intend to poke fun at those who may require such assistance,  I may be able to help some people with some of these products.  See what you think.

First, I have a series of four types of “check yourself or a loved one” drug tests.  They address things like Marijuana, Cocaine, Methamphetamine, Opioids, etc.

A second series of self testing deals with food and pet allergies.

We also have alcohol testers similar in function to what I suppose local law enforcement officials use when making road side stops.

You can self screen your colon and check your cholesterol.  (These would not be administered “road side”.)

The healthy weight is something I might consider.

The paternity test kit reminded me of a billboard that I saw in Detroit a couple of years ago.  Who’syourdaddy.com offered a money back guarantee to hopeful identity seekers.

Finally, a series of options exist for those who seek to know more about their ancestry and genetic make-up.  (I’ve used one of these.)

The problem with all such tests is that they must be administered properly to insure an accurate reading.   I expect that many potential users are anxious to receive their results. I fear that their anxiety may cause them to misuse the test which may in turn result in inaccurate test readings.  No one wants that.

To ensure that no test is administered improperly, I am developing  a business plan to assist those who wish to purchase these “take home tests”.  After purchasing their desired “kit”, I will make myself available to help insure that they are administered as directed.  I plan to have a service table near the shelves shown above and offer my assistance at a set fee.  I am in the process of finalizing a proposal that  I plan to submit to Walgreen and CVS in the coming weeks.

The plan is simple. Buy your kit, come to my card table, (set up in the same area of the store), and I’ll trim your hair or hold your vile of saliva for you.   Those requiring  assistance for colon testing will be on their own.  I’ll package all results and, for an extra fee, take it to the local Pack and Ship.  If patrons require on-site blood alcohol testing, I can make the reading for them.

I’m not concerned about making a lot of money so my payment schedule will be minimal.  I am working on a simple $5.00 per service schedule with all payments made in cash.

I’ve discussed the concept with my licensed clinical social worker (AKA bartender) daughter and suggested that she set up a “Lucy”  like table next to me to  offer advice at $1.00 a minute with a $5.00 minimum. (I think Charles Schultz would approve.)

She believes the entire concept may be better suited for biker bars located throughout our region of Florida.