I received tons of advice when I first became an elementary school principal. One of my favorite observations was from an older cousin who knew nothing about what I had done or was about to do. He offered up, “If you work hard, someday you’ll become a high school principal.” Becoming a high school principal was never on my radar. Some of the best advice I ever received came from one though.
I received an unsolicited phone call from a former Plainwell teacher, Roger. Roger left Plainwell to pursue other endeavors while I was still teaching there. We had met socially, and I had worked with his wife, Carolyn.
After he left Plainwell, Roger kept in touch with Bill and Patsy, another husband/wife combo from Plainwell. Roger reported to the duo that he was seeking a new elementary school principal. I was team teaching with Patsy at the time and she informed Roger that I was looking for such a position. I received Roger’s call on a Sunday afternoon.
He invited me for an interview the following week. I was teaching drivers education. “I can make the interview, but I’ll be dressed for work. I’ll have to come right from drivers ed.” Roger gave me his ok and the interview was on.
Don, the high school principal, was a part of the three man crew that conducted that first interview in Addison. Roger and the middle school principal, Rick, completed the trio. We discussed the community, the recent reorganization of the school district, a touch of education philosophy, some ideas I had if I became the new principal, and a bit about the composition of the school board. They asked questions, and I answered. I received another call from Roger the next afternoon. He invited me back to join him for a second interview with the curriculum coordinator, Murielle, one of the board members, Pam, and Don. I came, we talked, and shortly after I was offered the position.
During the process I learned that Don had come to Addison with the goal of staying one year. He changed his mind and was well into his someteenth year when we met.
Don was pretty straight forward. There was no fluff. He was a man who enjoyed his job and did the best that he knew how. During my first year he offered two pieces of advice that I’ll always remember.
My tenure as a school administrator confirmed two beliefs that I held as I entered the profession. Schools deal with two things that parents value – their children and their money. Parents are taxpayers, and as such, some believed that they had a duty to tell you how to do your job and, thus, their bidding.
I had one particular parent of a fourth grade student that drove me crazy. Some staff member ( the guilty party varied from incident to incident) did her daughter wrong on a weekly basis. She’d call me, yell into the phone, and tell me what I should do to resolve the problem. More than once she threatened me with, “I’m calling my attorney and we’re going to sue you.”
One day after such a conversation Don offered up two pieces of advice.
First he said, “Once someone threatens me with their attorney, I tell them to call mine. I give them our attorney’s phone number and tell them to have their attorney call it. The two attorneys can work it out.”
And then he said, “No one has ever followed me up on my offer. If they want to discuss things in a rational manner, I’m willing to talk, but I’m not willing to get into a yelling match”
Then he finished with, “If the yelling gets too much, I just hang up on myself.”
“What?”
Don continued, “When I get a chance to speak, I hang up on myself. No one hangs up on themselves, so they think that the call got cut off. If they call back, I do it again.”
I’m not sure that Don ever did either of those things. But I did. I took his advice the next time the irate fourth grade mother called. She pulled out her attorney threat and I was ready. I gave her our attorney’s name, rattled off his number, and ended our conversation with my own words. “If you want to speak with me about this, come on in and we’ll talk. If your attorney calls mine, we have nothing to discuss. They can work it out.”
The attorney call was never made, and the mom never called again. I’m still waiting for a chance to hang up on mys .