Ruth and I spent last week taking care of our two grandchildren, Brady (14) and Eva (about to turn 12), while David and Lindsay were out of town. David and Lindsay made a pact early in their marriage to share quality time together – just the two of them. They have date nights, over-night getaways, and every two years they take a big trip. Two years ago Lindsay chose Costa Rica. It was David’s turn this year. He chose Iceland.
Ruth and I agree that you need to have some “me” and “our” time away from the kids. In addition to their commitment to each other, Lindsay has a “girl’s week-end” and David has a “boys”. We’ve taken care of the kids dozens of times over the years, but never for 191 hours, forty-two minutes and 27 seconds in a row.
A few days prior to our trip to Hamilton, Ruth and I received a set of written “instructions” to help us through the week. Like all well thought out plans, there were a couple of hiccups.
Our first issue with the instructions began with their starting date of Monday the 23rd. David and Lindsay left on Saturday the 21st. There was no mention of Saturday evening or Sunday on the instructions at all. Fortunately, we knew of their plans to depart on Saturday and we showed up in a timely fashion.
As David and Lindsay were getting ready to walk out the door, a friend stopped by to invite Eva to an overnight birthday party on Friday. This didn’t get recorded on the “instructions” but we managed to remember it as Eva reminded us on a daily basis.
We also learned that Brady’s Thursday football game had been moved from Holland to home. The written instructions were incorrect. While this was good news, we had to remember the change on our own.
We completely winged our way through Saturday evening and all day Sunday. We played games, watched football, went out to eat, shopped, picked apples, played basketball with some friends, watched football again, went to “Rebounders” to jump on the trampolines, made apple -brown-betty, and buzzed through both days without incident.
We started following our “Instructions” on Monday.
Monday, September 23rd: Kids get dropped off at school around 7:15-7:30. Brady has to be there earlier than Eva, so we usually drop him off first. After you drop Brady off at the HS, just use the drive that goes behind the fields to get over to the Middle School. It’s really hard to turn left out of the High School. Eva will get off the bus around 3pm. Brady has Football practice from 3-5pm. He will get a ride home from practice at 5pm.
Do they take their lunch to school or buy? If they take it do we make it? What were we to do with Eva when she got home? Who will drive Brady home? What about dinner? Do they have a homework routine? Do they lay out their clothes the night before? What time do they go to bed? What really happens between 3:00 for Eva and 5:00 for Brady and 7:15 the next morning? We had several questions that we had to work through but we made it.
Tuesday, September 24th: Tuesday’s schedule was similar to Monday’s with two exceptions. The instructions read .. Eva has Horseback Riding – You can drop her off any time between 3:30 and 4:30. She gets picked back up at 6pm.
I received an email on Tuesday morning. Lindsay sent it from Iceland. Horseback riding had been canceled because the instructor had “jury duty”. (It’s a good thing that I check my email several times each day.)
Brady and David go to school at 5:45 a.m. each Tuesday and Thursday to play basketball. (The 5:45 departure for basketball was not on the instructions, but fortunately we knew that this was part of the weekly routine.) A friend picked Brady up and he was out as planned.
I had a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday so I went home and stayed there for the night. I returned on Wednesday.
Wednesday’s instructions were similar except:
Linda B. will be taking Eva after school for Gymnastics and will drop her off after youth group around 8:30pm. Eva will not be coming home after school on the bus, but will go home with Linda B. and her daughter.
The day went off as planned.
Thursday, September 26th: Brady left at 5:45 a.m. for basketball and came home with us after his football game around 6:30 p.m. On the drive home we learned that his coach scheduled a special event for special needs students on Saturday at 2:00. Brady was expected, and happy, to attend.
Thursday was routine except Eva brought a friend, Emily, home. The girls informed us that Emily’s mom would be picking them up to attend a home volleyball match. They planned to meet us at Brady’s football game after the volleyball match. And so they did.
Friday, September 27th: The day went as planned. After school Eva went to her friend’s house for the overnight birthday party. Plans to return home on Saturday were extended several times and she got home around 6:30 Saturday evening.
Brady went to the home football game that was rescheduled and moved up to 5:00 p.m. from 7:00 p,m. because of “possible thunderstorms”. It was called after one quarter of play because the thunderstorms showed up early. Before the crowd exited the stadium, the game was re-rescheduled to be completed on Saturday at 1:00.
After the shortened game Brady brought a friend home to spend the night. Surprise. He asked if it was “OK” and we said “yes”. This wasn’t on the set of instructions, but we welcomed Brendon anyway.
Saturday, September 28th: Was originally designated as “FREE” but by the time it rolled around Eva was at the extended birthday party while Brady attended the remainder of the varsity football game. After the game he worked with the special needs students on the football field.
Sunday, September 29th: Was another “FREE” day. We unfreed it by taking the kids to the “Allegan Event” in Allegan. Ruth, Brady and Eva went on the ropes course and rock climbed while I served as ground support and photographer for the event. Everyone had a great time. (You should go.)
By the end of the week the “instructions” had become a “guideline”. When you have children, and now grandchildren, you end up making much of your life up on the fly. Things change. Life is unpredictable.
Last week’s experience brought us back to the time when David, Elizabeth and Michael were young. How to take care of young teens, and their constantly changing schedules, came rushing back. They were, and are, the best of times.