Life Lessons

December Weddings

I don’t understand why people get married in December.  The month is full of celebrations as it is, so why not wait until Spring when the weather is nicer, birds are singing, and flowers are blooming.  You know what I mean.  Perhaps people are looking for the benefit of filing a joint tax return in January.  When you consider the tax implications, a December wedding makes sense.

My parents got married in December – December 8th, 1945 – but that was a different time.  My dad was home from the war and getting ready to start a new life.  Getting married was a priority.  Germany surrendered in May of 1945 and Japan followed in August. Dad was stationed  in the Pacific and shortly after returning home he and Mom married.

He intended to stay in the Army to help with the rebuilding of Europe as a member of the Army’s Corps of Engineers , but when it came time to reup he asked about taking “his wife” with him.  The army’s reply was simple, “She’ll be waiting for you when you get back.”  He passed on the opportunity.  He’d served since January of 1940 and decided to focus on married life.

2011-09-01 01.03.50Ruth’s sister, Kathy, married Dan in December too.  They celebrated their thirty-second    anniversary on the 19th.  Dan’s a fan of cold weather so perhaps that’s why they chose a December date.  He was a band instructor at the time. Having just finished the Christmas concert season, and the upcoming Christmas vacation, were two additional reasons for him to embrace December.

Ruth stood up with her sister.  David, Elizabeth and Michael had a role in the festivities too.  I was the cameraman.  I stood behind a grand piano, among the flowers, and videoed the ceremony.  I have the Super 8 evidence somewhere.

The intimate ceremony took place in a music auditorium in Grand Rapids.  A reception followed in the clubhouse of Kathy’s condo association.  During the reception nine year old Michael took control of the video camera.  His stature provided him with several perfect shots of butts and boobs.  He captured a few nice thighs as well.  If I can locate it, I’ll  share it someday.  It’s a classic.

I don’t remember much about the wedding, or the reception, but I do recall the rest of the evening.  Dan gave me the keys to his house so our family could stay there.  He and Kathy went on to wherever newlyweds stay.

Dan gave me very clear instructions that I had to “jiggle” the key into place.   He concluded his advice by saying, “It’s tricky”.  I “jiggled” for over thirty minutes in a driving rain while Ruth and the kids remained in the car.  My leather shoes and suit were ruined in the process.  In the end I gave up the fight, tossed in my towel, and broke the pane of glass between me and the inside door latch.  I opened the door, got everyone safely inside,  and the remainder of the night went off without a hitch.

The next morning I measured the broken window, drove to the hardware store, purchased a replacement sheet of glass, and repaired the door.  I silently thanked my junior high school shop teacher because he’s the guy who taught me how to repair a window.

One of our family friends, Melissa, married her David in December.  They celebrated twenty years on the 18th.  Missy was a student of mine when I took the job in Addison.  Her dad, John, served on the local volunteer fire department and was the town’s mortician.  Her mom, Leslie, was a substitute teacher who I added to my fulltime staff within the first year or two of my arrival in Addison.  The trio was a part of the crew that made an annual spring break trip to Myrtle Beach.

After a couple of years, they moved to Frankfort where John opened his own funeral home.  They continued to join us in Myrtle Beach each spring and hosted “Myrtle Beach North” in Frankfort for several summers.    Missy did most of her “growing up” in Frankfort and we caught up with her “growing” during our MB gatherings.

Missy’s wedding was held in a small church.  It was a beautiful setting.  While the church was small the reception was not.  It was held in one of the ballrooms of the Crystal Mountain Resort.  The guests gathered outside the ballroom and entered as a group.  When the doors opened, I couldn’t believe my eyes.  Each table featured a centerpiece of two or three dozen roses.  A friend of Missy’s had flown in from California to create the beautiful bouquets.

Shortly after the party began, Missy asked if I was going to hold a raffle.  I hadn’t planned to, but once she asked, I couldn’t resist.

During many of  our trips to Myrtle Beach, I hosted a poolside 50-50 raffle.  I sold tickets for $1.00.  The daily winner received 50% of the proceeds and 50% went towards the purchase of ingredients for the poolside “drink of the day”.  Everybody won.

A year or so before Missy’s wedding, the Myrtle Beach crew gathered at the wedding of one of our spring break couples, Jan and Pat Peters’, daughter, Pam.  Ruth and I were sitting with many of the Myrtle Beach attendees, and we reminisced about the many trips and good times we had over the years.  The annual 50-50 was one of the stories that we shared, and during our discussion, we decided to hold a spontaneous 50-50 raffle in honor of Pam and her new husband.  We all had enough to drink to make the idea sound like a great one.

I handled the sales.  I collected $5.00 from each person at our table and moved on to others.  I explained the simple concept.  I assigned numbers to each person who contributed $5.00.  I kept track of everything on the inside flap of a pack of “wedding matches”.  I explained that 50% of the proceeds would go to the winner and 50% would go to the newlyweds.

When the sales were completed, we held the drawing.  I drew an imaginary number from a bowl that I had confiscated.  I announced the winning number, “nine”, and a collective groan filled the hall when Ruth jumped up and said, “That’s mine. That’s me.”  She immediately announced that she was awarding her half to the newlyweds.  That was the plan from the beginning.  I handed them a stack of bills totaling over $500.

I followed a similar plan at Missy’s wedding.  I approached all of our Myrtle Beach friends first because they had experience with the process.  Sales were slow but steady.  And then I had a FABULOUS IDEA!  I asked John and Les if they had plans for the bouquets of flowers that adored each table.  They didn’t.  Then I asked if I could give them away as part of the raffle.  They said I could.

I took the mic and announced the raffle to everyone.  I explained the 50-50 process and pulled an imaginary number from a bowl.   I awarded the first bouquet to lucky number thirteen, a “hot chick” in her thirties.  SALES BOOMED!!!  I couldn’t collect the $5.00 bills fast enough.  Some asked it they could purchase multiple tickets.  “Of course, but I will have to limit your purchase to four.”

I stuffed the money into my jacket pocket, recorded each number on a napkin, and sold dozens of imaginary tickets to men and women throughout the room.  I stopped every few minutes to hold a drawing for another bouquet.

When all of the bouquets had been assigned, I drew the winning number.  I had already approached my friend, John Binns, to tell him that he was going to be the winner.  He accepted the responsibility, and when I announced his winning number he declared, “I’m giving my half to Missy and David.”

I don’t recall how much we collected that evening.  I know that it was north of $500 and south of $1,000.  I believe Missy and David used it on their honeymoon.

Those two 50 – 50 raffles may have been the only raffles conducted at a wedding held anywhere in the world.  I know that twenty or more lucky women had a beautiful bouquet of roses to help brighten their homes during the holiday season of 1999.