Reflections

If you live somewhere long enough you garner thousands of memories.  When we bought our home on Lake LeAnn I thought it was perfect.  We were going to live on a lake and have not one, but two, fireplaces.  We had arrived. Here are a few reflections from our time here.

We have experienced sorrow.  Nineteen months after we moved in I made the drive from work at Addison Elementary to home to tell Ruth that her dad had suffered a fatal heart attack.   I sat with her on the nap couch while she struggled to process my news.  It was the first truly difficult conversation we shared.  Lou had been retired for less than a year, and he was gone.

Three years later I helped her pack a bag for a flight to Florida as her mom was ill.  She and her two sisters, Shirley and Kathy, flew to spend the last ten days of their mother’s life sitting at her bedside.  At least this time they had the opportunity to say good-bye.

Twenty years later I listened to our telephone answering machine at 3:00 a.m. to hear that my dad had taken “a turn”.  I drove to Royal Oak’s Beaumont Hospital, whispered “I’m here.” in Dad’s ear, and sat for twenty-minutes with Mom as she held his hand.  He took one final shallow breath and was gone.

My mom lived for another fifteen years before she passed.  Once again I had the time to say good-bye.  Having the opportunity for one last word was easier for both Ruth and me.  Both paths are painful, but there’s a bit of relief when you are able to share a final moment.

Eight years ago, we lost Ruth’s sister, Shirley.  David brought us that news standing in our driveway at 11572. It’s a whole different experience when you start losing your siblings.

Luckily, our joys have exceeded our sorrows.  Michael was born during our time here.  He joined David and Elizabeth and we had a wonderful time helping and watching them grow.  You know when your children are born that you don’t get to keep them close forever, so it’s best to savor the moments you do have.  Don’t’ get me wrong, not every moment was wonderful.  They presented challenges in their own unique way, but one adventure led to another. If we hadn’t had the tears along with the laughs they wouldn’t have become the caring adults that we get to spend time with today.

Each of them found a spouse  we love.  We’ve gone from two boys and a girl to three of each.  Best of all they like and love each other.  They are friends as well as siblings, and we cherish that fact.

And then there’s Brady and Eva.  We loved them before they were born and we love them more with each passing day.  They love us too.  We know that from the words we share and the time we spend with them.  They’re going to be wonderful adults.

The house that we bought 43 years ago is not the same home we’re putting up for sale this week, and the home is not the same home where we raised three children.  Ruth has decorated and redecorated several times over.  She has a gift for making things nicer than they were intended to be.  Nothing goes unnoticed.  Each decision has a purpose. Today it’s the prettiest its ever been, so it’s a good time to say good-bye.

The people who live in the house, and their friends and family, make the place special. They are the ones who create the memories.  We’ll both pause a moment when we walk out the door for the final time.  We’ll miss the place, but we’ve agreed to take our memories with us.