Back in the day when a child was born you got what you got. Each birth was a surprise. No one knew in advance if they were having a boy or a girl. I recall how disappointed I was when our neighbor, Polly, told me my mom and dad went to the hospital to get my sister. “Why a girl?”
“That’s all they had left.”
At six and three quarters, I thought picking out a child was much like picking out a puppy. I had seen pictures of people looking in the hospital nursery room windows. How difficult could it be to look for a boy?
The same surprise held true for the birth of our three children. We didn’t know a thing about David, Elizabeth, and Michael until the moment they were born. They each were weighed, scored, and wrapped in the hospital baby blanket that’s still used today. We knew their Apgar Score, how long they were, how much they weighed, took an accounting of fingers and toes, and the adventure began. We had a boy name and a girl name for each and assigned the appropriate name based upon the fact that they either had junk or not. It was as simple as that.
When David and Lindsay were expecting Brady, things had changed. They knew how to plan. While we designed a gender neutral yellow accented room for David, Ruth picked out a black and white mobile to hang above Brady’s crib because, when they’re first born, that’s how they see the world. It’s black and white with shades of gray. Eva’s room was pink and white. David almost cut off his finger on his table saw when we cut the white wainscoting for her room. While three of the five additions to our family were unknowns, we couldn’t be happier that we got what we got. We feel the same about the two knowns. Expanding our family has been our greatest joy.
While sharing the news of our new pontoon and deck with Michael via an early evening telephone call, he offered up, “So, you like new things. Well, you’re getting a new grandchild.” That’s how we learned of Mangus Strongbeard. It seems our four California kids were discussing the pregnancy prior to sharing the news with Ruth and me. The name, Mangus Strongbeard, was born. I wasn’t there, but I’ll bet a beer or two had been shared prior to the naming. Free-wheeling comes easier under those circumstances. He and Kate asked us to keep the news to ourselves until she was through her first trimester. I understood the request as it took me back to a similar conversation with my mom.
Ruth and I had plans to visit my parents over the labor day week-end in the fall of 1974. I called to cancel and told her that Ruth was “expecting”. I asked her not to tell anyone until we gave her the OK. I suspect she honored our request, and if she didn’t, I never learned of her failure to keep the secret.
Michael has wanted to be a father for a long time. He and Kate have been focused on their careers, so a child hasn’t been in the cards until now. We’ve been sitting on this wonderful news for over a month. Several months ago I predicted the “lock down’ created by the coronavirus pandemic would lead to a spike in births. I didn’t expect to be among those impacted by my prediction, but I’m happy I am.
All the testing indicates that Mangus Strongbeard is developing as planned. All systems are “go”, so we don’t have to keep the secret any longer. I’ve been privately referring to Mangus as Maggie if she turned out to be a girl, or Gus if he proved to be a boy. I’m happy either way.
The lockdown has prevented Michael from attending Kate’s doctor visits. He’s been outside the office sitting in his car reading “baby books”. He’s been keeping track of Mangus’s development and been supportive of Kate. They talk about each of her visits and are learning things about child development together. He couldn’t be present when the testing revealed Mangus’s sex so they bought exploding golf balls for dramatic effect through a “big reveal”. She teed it up for Michael, and he learned a bit more about his child.
Mike and Kate purchased similar golf balls for David and his family, and Ruth and me. We had our own gender reveal. Each of us held a secret wish, but we knew in our hearts we were gonna get what we were gonna get.