My mom and dad’s seventy-fifth wedding anniversary was yesterday. I expect they danced in heaven, and after they danced they probably played cards with my Aunt Ruth and Uncle Harry. There was undoubtedly a big dinner (Dad would have insisted.) with the whole extended family to celebrate this diamond jubilee. And after that they – well who knows? I’ve never been. I expect they may have their own traditions in heaven.
When people marry, one of the big traditions is the tossing of the bride’s bouquet and garter belt.
The bouquet toss has existed for hundreds of years and evolved over time. In this tradition, the bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder into a group of single women. Whoever catches the bouquet is supposedly “next” to walk down the aisle. It usually happens towards the end of the night at the reception, and it can get quite competitive – even dangerous – with elbows flying and the pushing and shoving that often occurs, all while trying to catch the coveted bouquet. Single women can be very aggressive.
For brides, it’s a way to celebrate their single friends and wish them luck in love. For the lucky lady that catches the bouquet, if she doesn’t meet the partner of her dreams at her friend’s wedding, at least she’ll go home with some beautiful flowers.
The garter toss is a wedding tradition dating back centuries. The bride sits in a chair while her groom removes a garter from around her leg. The single men are assembled. Like the bride, the groom tosses the garter over his shoulder to the assembly. Guys must have sure hands, and quick feet, if they expect to snatch the coveted prize. Diving is permitted but not encouraged.
The garter toss is basically seen as the male counterpart to the bouquet toss. In fact, the person who nabs the garter sometimes puts it on the leg of whoever catches the bouquet. They might even share the next dance. Tradition says, the winners of both the garter and the bouquet toss will find love and “tie the knot” next.
I caught my fair share of garters over the years. I was eighteen when I made my first catch at my cousin, Gene’s, wedding. The next was at my friend, Mitch’s. As best man in both, I would have expected nothing less. I caught numbers three and four at my college friend’s, Wilke and The Fox, weddings. They hung proudly on the rearview mirror of my Mustang convertible until the girl I was dating decided they “looked silly”. Both the girl and the garters are long gone. I miss the garters.
While it’s true that Ruth and I eloped, my parents threw us a big party. Ruth carried a bouquet and wore a garter for tossing. My sister, Sharron, caught the bouquet which is surprising because my youngest sister, Jackie, is the more aggressive of the two. I guess when you have your eye on the prize nothing can hold you back. One of my cousins, Scott, caught the garter. They followed the “post catch” tradition of dancing together.
David and Lindsay, and Elizabeth and Sutton, tossed bouquets and garters at each of their weddings. Mike and Kate were married on a beach in Hawaii and opted to avoid the tossing. I believe it had something to do with the potential for diving in the sand. No one really wanted to get that dirty. One of the over-served female attendees badgered Kate throughout the evening asking, “When are you gonna toss the bouquet?” , over and over again. She asked one too many times as Kate and Mike were preparing to leave. A former college softball player, Kate fired a strike to the badger’s chest, and she had her prize. This proved, once again, you should be careful what you wish for.
There may have been a bouquet, but there definitely wasn’t a garter when Mom and Dad married. They tied the knot in Chicago while waiting for Dad to be discharged from the army. My Aunt Ruth and Uncle Harry served as matron of honor and best man. They took the vow of “til death do us part” to heart. That’s why I’m very sure the four of them are hanging out in heaven right now.