Forty-Four Years

When Ruth and I started talking about having children, she wanted two and I wanted three.  Biology determined our final count.  We’re both happy how things worked out.   We were four and a half years into being married before David was born.  Two years later, Elizabeth Kathryn made her appearance on March 10, 1977.  Ruth’s maternity leave started six days prior.

She and David were visiting her mom and dad in Plainwell on Wednesday the 9th.  I was on my way to a negotiations strategy meeting in Allegan and stopped in to say hello on my way.  It was to be a dinner meeting for several districts in the middle of negotiations.  I intended for my visit to be brief, but our about to be born baby had other plans.  Ruth’s water broke just prior to my arrival.  We left David with Ruth’s parents, Kate and Lou, and headed to the hospital.

I was an experienced expectant father, so I thought I knew the drill.  The first hour was routine.  As soon as Ruth settled in, I was permitted to be with her.  The initial exam indicated we had a ways to go before the baby made its appearance.  This was during the time when parents found out the sex of the child at the moment of birth.

My dream team was two boys followed by a girl.  My logic was quite simple.  The boys would bring their friends to our house, and I’d have a chance to meet and screen them.  One of them would undoubtedly fall in love with the younger sister, and I’d have the inside track of approving, or disapproving, the prospective husband.  It was a pretty straight forward look towards my daughter’s future.  I thought the boys would be able to fend for themselves, but my daughter would need protecting.

Ruth was in labor throughout the night.  I went in to see her from time to time, but she preferred to be alone.  She used the  time to rest before the “big push”.  I sat in the waiting room part of the time and used the balance to speak with the nurses.  I walked back and forth between the waiting room and Ruth’s room, with intermittent discussions with the nursing staff.  There were two women in labor that evening and the nurses kept track of their status on a common whiteboard.  The other expectant father and I talked a bit.  He owned a couple car washes in town, sponsored and played for a very successful softball team, and seemed a bit miffed that his first born child had interrupted one of his games.

We had arrived at the hospital around 5:00 p.m. and around six the next morning, things picked up. The doctor and nurse kept track of Ruth’s progress on a monitor.  At one point the doctor said, “The baby starts down and crawls back up.  This baby is not in a hurry to enter this world.”  The down and back maneuver took place several times.  Just before 7:00 a.m. the doctor announced, “It’s go time!  You need to get ready.”

I put on my scrubs and sat on a stool beside the delivery table.  If there was a nurse, she’s lost from my memory.  The doctor and Ruth engaged in some small talk and I just sat on my stool.  When the baby appeared he said, “You have a daughter.”  I loved her the moment  I saw her. He handed her to me.  She was beautiful and slippery.  I drew her close to my chest, hoping I wouldn’t drop her.  She was the slickest thing I’d ever held, and she was mine.  I looked at the clock.  It was 7:10.

In the forty-four years since that first morning, she’s brought great joy into my life.  She’s smart, attractive, multi-talented, a friend to all, and most of all she’s an independent woman.  She always has been.  She’s not one who needs to be taken care of, but I know she’s cared for.

A few years ago I put together a video that features her.  It’s a bit dated, but I enjoy the trip down memory lane.