Golfing Oddities

I played in a golf tournament this week called the “Outhouse Open”.  It was a nine-hole, five person scramble fielding ten teams.  It was the final major event in Canadian Lakes.  I’d played in other outings with unusual names. “The Hardly Open”,  “Unmasters”,  “Grunge Tour”,  and the “Birdshit Open” were among the most prestigious.  When I learned of the “Outhouse Open”, I thought I’d give it a try.  I didn’t understand the moniker for the event until I played.

The parr five, eighth hole, is challenging enough, but once we arrived on the green, I understood the significance of the open.  An open ended toilet seat encircled much of the hole.  Your team had to be in perfect position to align the putt.  Luckily, our best shot was about twelve feet beyond the opening so we had a chance for a birdy.  Unfortunately, we all missed.   Each of our putts drifted either right, or left, bounding away from the open end of the seat.  Fortunately, one ricocheted straight back so we made our parr.

We finished one under and out of the money, but I met some new guys and we had a good time.

As I was considering the unusual nature of the event, I recalled a time playing last spring in Florida.  We had two foursomes playing eighteen holes for nothing more than bragging rights.  My group had my friend, Dave, son, David, grandson, Brady and me.  Playing in Florida is significantly different than playing in Michigan.  The fairway grass is much tighter, making it more difficult for some, like me, to hit a solid shot.  There’s little room for error.

In addition, the ball doesn’t seem to fly as far because we’re closer to sea level.  I’ve done a bit of study and learned a ball flies about a yard and a half farther for every ten degree increase in temperature.  That’s a favorable Florida statistic.  Conversely, a golf ball flies about two percent farther for every one-thousand feet above sea level.  This stat bodes poorly for Florida.

The most challenging part of Florida golf is the critters.  You must always be on the look-out for snakes and alligators.  Snakes like the tall grasses that line many of the fairways.  Once my ball enters a hazard like that, I never just reach in to retrieve it.  I may poke around with a golf club, but I never reach in barehanded.

Alligators are another challenge.  While most stay in, or near, the water, I have had the occasional gator stroll across the green.

During our two foursome outing last spring, Brady hit a beautiful shot into the parr four, ninth hole.  The ball came in from the right side of the green, hit hard, carried over,  and down a slope towards a pond.  I was standing on the left side of the fairway and saw the entire shot unfold.  I marveled at the shot until I saw its final resting place.  The picture below speaks for itself.  (Check out the white dot by the tail.)

Fortunately, the rules of golf call for relief from alligators.  Brady took a drop and parred the hole.  The boy has nerves of steel.