I ran across this post on social media a week or so ago. It’s a playful look at sharing time. Its message struck a chord with me.
When we marry, we expect to live happily ever after. No one believes their marriage will fail, but many do. I read on-line that 40 – 50% of marriages end in divorce. More surprising to me is a statistic that says after age 60 the divorce rate has increased by thirty percent. One social media statistic states the average marriage last eight years.
There’re all sorts of reasons that couples split … financial differences, incompatibility, infidelity, addiction, irreconcilable differences. The list goes on.
Ruth and I are heading towards fifty-one years of marriage, and we have several friends running out ahead of us. Many others are close behind.
Most of us offer up the words “till death do us part”, making the vow even more permanent. One thing is sure. We aren’t here forever, so we need to live our best life while we have the opportunity. Making wise choices makes the time we have more special.
I believe many are too quick to throw in the towel. None of us are the same as the day we married. We’re not as attractive, can’t do some of the things we did in our youth, made our share of mistakes, and yet we persevere. We do because we value the partnership above all else. Getting married is easy, staying married is the challenge.
If you have children, they become the focus of your time together. How they grow up, and the choices they make, although theirs, impact you. Once a parent, always a parent.
Having a partner that knows when to speak up and when to shut up is key. It’s a delicate balance. Should you wonder if it’s time to speak up, my advice is don’t. When it’s time to speak, you’ll know. There will be no doubt. Doubt prefers silence.
If you’ve chosen wisely, you’ll learn together. It may take years of trial and error but by working together you’ll understand. Those who must be right all the time will fail.
Ruth and my first disagreements were about what now look like trivial things. Over time I learned to defer to her judgement on many issues, and she in-turn learned to defer to me. She excelled in some matters, and I in others. Learning the difference sometimes brought conflict, but it also taught us how to compromise. The compromise path works so we’ll keep taking it.
I must admit I miss the days when we took the occasional bubble bath. That’s non-negotiable now.