Dibs

I think all kids, at least all kids my age, have called dibs a time or two. Calling dibs means you reserve the right to something.  Everyone else is out of luck.  It’s yours.

A few years ago, when Ruth and I updated our will, we asked the kids if they wanted anything special to be left to them.  I thought they would but heard very little.

We purchased a few antique pieces when we first married but our first piece of new furniture as newlyweds is high on the dibs list.  It became known as the “nap couch” and is a coveted item.   It cost $300 when my friend, Mike Smith, and Ruth picked it out.  It’s been reupholstered twice, first for $800 and the second for $2,000.  Everyone in our family has napped on the couch. David, Elizabeth and Michael slept on my chest during my “after work” naps, so it’s a big deal.

I moved a two by four wall support beam from our Grand Point house to our Tullymore Condo because we used it the measure our growth over the forty-three years we lived there.  We monitored the kid’s growth through the years, and when the grandkids came, we added them.  Michael even logged in a couple of his high school buddies. Ruth and I valued its story and wanted to continue the tradition. It’s a historical piece.

The dibs distribution has accelerated with Ruth’s passing.  Elizabeth received the ring Ruth was wearing the night of her accident, Lindsay got her watch, and I gave Kate her earrings.  Our granddaughter, Eva, is a great cook, so I gave her Ruth’s recipe box with her handwritten recipes. I know she’ll put them to good use.

Once, when Brady was about three, he and Ruth purchased a blue dolphin in an antique store.  Brady saw it, asked “Nana” to buy it, and when he found a second, more coveted, item told “Nana” she could have the dolphin if he could get his “new find”.  She mounted it in her car, transferred it to a second and third, where it remained through her accident.  I took it out and gave it to Brady as he discovered it in the first place.  I think he’ll keep it forever.

I’m reassessing “my stuff” because that’s what it all is.  A collection of items assembled over fifty-one years and sixteen days.

Ruth did a good job of getting rid of things over the past few years.  We didn’t need them, and the kids didn’t want them, so we gave them away.  Some went to Goodwill, but Ruth had a bond with the Salvation Army, so many of our things went there.  She liked their business model, one of the few she knew anything about.

We still have plenty.  With two homes in two different states, you need a lot of duplicates.  Dishes, pots and pan, blankets, sheets and pillowcases, are high on the list, but we have several of each still packed in boxes, sitting on shelves in Michigan and Florida.  When Brady heads off to college next fall, I’ll have several things for him to pack.  It’s all top rate and brand new.  I’m calling dibs for him on this collection.

As for everything else, the kids can have it all whenever they want it.  It’ll end up there anyway.  I think they should enjoy it while I can see the happiness it brings them.  I expect some items will be contested but we’ll work through the bumps as they present themselves.  I currently hold the dibs tie breaking vote.  I plan to use it sparingly.