The last conversation I had with Ruth concluded around 11:00 am the morning of September 27, 2022. We agreed upon a plan to visit our California kids the weekend prior to Kate’s birthday. I overheard her speaking to Michael one evening and Elizabeth, a day or so later, about the trip. She told Mike we’d stay with him for two days, and Elizabeth for one. During her conversation with Elizabeth, she reversed the plan. We’d spend a day with Mike and two days with Elizabeth.
During our Tuesday conversation I pointed out, “You can’t say one thing to Michael and reverse the plan while speaking with Elizabeth. I’m good either way, but we need to sing the same song to each one.” We discussed the visit and decided we’d spend two days with each. I was to research flights, and we’d book them the next morning. The next morning never came. By then each of them was booking a flight to Michigan to begin the sharing of our family’s loss. Ruth was gone.
I made the trip alone last weekend. I spent the first two days with Elizabeth and Sutton, and the final two with Michael, Kate, and young Jackson James. While I enjoyed the time we shared, flying solo feels very strange. I followed through with the plan we developed on Ruth’s final morning, but she didn’t make it with me.
My first stop was with Elizabeth and Sutton. They moved into their new home in May, and Ruth visited them in June. Last weekend was my first look at the place. It suits them well. It’s a small two-bedroom home with a huge outdoor space. It has several garden areas, but there’s not much grass to mow, so that should make outdoor living more enjoyable. They have a large pool and several lounge chairs and couches designed for outdoor living.
After my tour of the home, we settled into the kitchen/dining area. It’s very large and features a wood burning fireplace. As we walked into the kitchen one of the overhead lights flickered. I paid little attention, but Elizabeth asked if I saw it. As she asked, it flickered again, and a moment later, a third time. We both knew it was Ruth coming to join BZ, Sutton and me. We’ve experienced similar electronic malfunctions since her passing.
I shared the fact that several times a week, I see a light flicker in my bedroom closet. I see the flash as I head for one of my nightly every four-hour trips to the bathroom. I’ve grown to accept the unexplained light but admit to trying to sneak up on it. It never flashes unless I take my more usual unexpected approach.
On my last night with Mike and Kate, one of their smoke alarms made a single chirp as I was drifting off to sleep. I flashed back to the evening of Ruth’s accident, and the continuous chirping our alarm made that night. I was convinced then, as I am now, that she reaches out to us from time to time to let us know she’s with us in spirit. I can’t explain it, but I’ve learned to expect the unexpected.
I find the whole experience to be comforting. I miss her, but her visiting spirit brings a bit of peace. Strange but true.