The Red Plate

If you’re a long-time blog reader, or one of our many friends, you know that Ruth and I eloped.   Once we were married, our parents planned after the fact receptions.  The Van Bruggens held a low-key cake and coffee gathering in their home in Plainwell, and my parents through an all-out Detroit style bash.  There was a band, a ton of food, drinking and dancing.

Ruth and I registered for gifts like any other couple.  We had the advantage of having acquired a few things as single adults, but setting up a home was a different story.  We anticipated receiving gifts in Plainwell and cash in Detroit.  That’s how the two sides of the state traditionally supported married couples.

We registered together.  I deferred to Ruth on most matters but stuck to my guns when it came to bedding:  sheets, pillowcases, bedspreads, and blankets.  I wanted nothing to do with flowers.  I preferred solid colors or stripes.  She honored my request and we registered accordingly.  Unfortunately, the gift purchasers went freelance on us and we got sets of flower sheets.  We used them because we had a waste not, want not attitude.  I suppose we could have returned, or regifted, them but if the original purchasers showed up, we wanted concrete evidence that we’d put their gift to good use.

Our longest discussion focused on China.  We wanted a formal set of dishes for dinner parties and holidays.  We agreed that our everyday dishes should be white, but a China pattern was a different story.  Again, I wanted nothing to do with flowers, so we settled on a pattern that was acceptable to both.  It had a blue accent and was flower free.  Over time, we built a service for twelve with serving platters, assorted sized bowls, dessert plates, cups and saucers, and a sugar and creamer set.  What we didn’t get as wedding gifts, Ruth received as birthday and Christmas gifts from her mom and mine.

Our sterling silver goal was eight sets. Each set included salad and dinner forks, a teaspoon, and a knife.  Twelve sets of sterling silver was too lofty a goal.  It took a couple years, but we acquired that as well.  The serving pieces that accompanied the silver cost $100 each and this was 1971.

We registered for, and received, a dozen crystal glasses.  They cost $5.00 during a time when you could go to the “dime store” and purchase two glasses for twenty-five cents.  Cha-ching.

During our fifty-one years and sixteen days, I’d estimate we used our China a hundred times.  We didn’t use it every year but every once in a while, Ruth would pull them out wondering what we were saving them for.  We used it for family dinners, a couple of dinner parties we held before the kids were born, and sometimes just the two of us.  We used the crystal glasses in a similar fashion.

The silver is a different story.  While it’s true we kept it in a case under the living room couch when the kids were little, we pulled it out and used it on a regular basis. It was available every day.

Yesterday, while I was looking for something else, I found our single red plate.  Ruth bought it when the kids were young.  She set the red plate when David, Elizabeth, or Michael had a birthday.  She served each one of them on the red plate when they accomplished something noteworthy.  It was special.  She and I got to use it a couple of times.

I don’t recall the last time we pulled it out.  We probably used it for Brady and Eva a time or two.  If not, I will.

I’ve set the red plate at the table and I’m going to leave it there.  It’s a bit worn, but that just shows how special it is.  I’ve added the appropriate silver on either side.  I’ll use it once a week as a personal reminder that life is worth celebrating.  If you stop by, I may let you use it as well.