I’ve received a ton of support since losing Ruth over eight months ago. I sometimes still find myself thinking “Is this real? Is this really how life is going to be?” I know it is, but it’s still a bit overpowering.
I received the following note from a friend shortly after I arrived in Florida last October. I’ve paraphrased, but you’ll get the drift.
You were in my thoughts over the past week knowing how hard it must have been to get to the house in Florida for the first time. Just read your blog about 3:16 which is incredible. It reminded me about an experience I’ve been wanting to share with you.
It was October 9th, a couple weeks after Ruth passed. I attended a calligraphy class and texted Ruth’s sister, Kathy, that morning telling her that I was struggling and thinking a lot about Ruth because it would have been something we might have signed up to do together. She texted back that Ruth would be right there with me.
The Sunday afternoon class was called Sip & Script. There might have been ten women in the class. They were set up for tables of two. I had my name on a place setting written beautifully in calligraphy along with another lady beside me. However, when she came in she said there must have been a mistake because she was meeting a friend and wanted to sit with her.
So, besides myself that came alone there was another woman named Kelly. Kelly switched seats and we sat together. We chatted it up. I found out her husband and mine liked woodworking. Kelly reminded me of Ruth, how social she was, and just how much she enjoyed putting her creativity to practice. The two of us continued practicing our pen strokes and chatting. I found out her mother had recently passed, and I told her about my really good friend that just passed. We continued practicing and reminiscing about her mother and my friend.
The instructor wanted us to give thought to what we wanted to write in script on the plastic pumpkins she brought for us to take home. As we were finishing our class, and reaching the pinnacle of our expertise, Kelly said she was going to write something her mother used to say. We could script anything on our pumpkins. I wrote ‘Happy Fall’. She wrote “She designed a life she loved’. I can’t begin to describe the feeling that came over me. Kathy was right, Ruth was right there with me.
She certainly designed a life she loved!
I appreciated the note and the dozens of others I’ve received. They help demonstrate Ruth’s impact on those who came in touch with her. If you met her, you knew it. If she became your friend, you were lucky to have her.
Of all her attributes, I appreciated her dedication to our family the most. She loved her children and grandchildren. She didn’t always agree with them, but she always loved them.
When I look back at the time we shared, I’m most thankful for the people who came into our lives. We collect a lot of things as we pass through life. The most valuable can’t be measured monetarily. They are the people who join us on our journey and the value they add to the ride.
Our Florida Celebration of Life last December was wonderful. It was spiritual without the religious fanfare that Ruth and I valued little. Next week’s MIchigan Celebration will be a greater challenge. Ruth and I made a lot of friends over our 51 years and 16 days. We’ll probably see some we haven’t seen in decades. The kids will have friends in attendance too. All are welcome but their addition will bring back a flood of memories. It’s those moments that help us design a life we love.
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