Ruth was never a hoarder, but she was always a saver. She saved things that had meaning to her or she thought may have meaning to our three kids. She had three bureau drawers full of artwork and school awards. One for each. As they grew older, she saved favorite toys knowing they would want them down the road. She kept them in milk crates, a designated closet, plastic tubs, and, if she had them, their original boxes.
My mom did the same for me. The Teddy Bear that dad gave me for my first Christmas, my erector set, boxing gloves, dozens of miniature farm animals and army men, my holster and six shooters, the collection of model cars I built over the years, and my over-the-top Lionell train set, were all stored for safe keeping. The moment Ruth and I married, she and my dad hauled them all to our house on Kalamazoo’s Stockbridge Avenue. Since they were mine, and I had a house of my own, they became my responsibility. Ruth’s mom had done the same, but not as comprehensive as mine.
David, Elizabeth, and Michael stayed with me at the condo for a couple of days this week so we could go through their treasures. Each one organized their individual memories, disposed of things that had lost their importance, and successfully divided our Christmas treasures. For several years, Ruth put up a Christmas tree in each room of our house. Most had themes: bears, angels, clowns, stars, ribbons/bows, silver bells, and toy soldiers. When the kids moved away, she turned Michael’s room into a Christmas room. She left it up year-round so she could enjoy the things she loved.
Since David lives in Michigan, he’s moved most of his things to his house(s). It didn’t happen in one grand move like mine decades ago, but it happened. First one house, then a second, followed by a third, and now a fourth.
When Elizabeth and Sutton purchased a home in Flagstaff, Arizona a few years back, we shipped most of her things west.
Michael and Kate have always rented so there is little extra room for his treasures. Since young Jackson James’ arrival, he’s taken up their extra space.
The kids’ organization, and division, of our Christmas treasures was done at my request. I thought I might sell the condo this summer and move to Florida full time. If that happened, the kids would need to be ready to move their things as well. I’ve decided to return for at least another summer, maybe more, so the organization and division is just that. Preparation for another day. They went about it as I suspected they would.
They examined each piece and shared stories of its history with comments,”We bought this at so and so”, “Mom always…” or “This was my favorite and I always put it on the tree last, down near the bottom.” I listened to their conversation but didn’t interrupt. Sometimes they asked me for clarification, but most of the time they moved forward with trio talks among themselves. This was their time to be kids again. When the time comes to move on, they’re better prepared.
We have something in Michigan that I’ve taken for granted all my married life. Ruth made a home full of memories, and although we moved from a lake side house to a condo, the shrines she built for our family were just relocated. There’s a travel corner with Sutton and Elizabeth’s fifteen month singing tour, pictures of David walking the top of the Great Wall of China, Michael and Kate’s Hawaiian Wedding, and side trips to Mexico and Palm Springs that Ruth and I took.
Another area of the house is dedicated to golf. She’s displayed our hole-in-one trophies, first place league wins, pictures of Mike and David’s high school golf years, dozens of golf balls collected from throughout the country, and some with logos celebrating milestones like Hawaiian weddings and fifty years of marriage.
A third is a tribute to our trips to various beach locales, most notably our twenty-five years of continuous treks to Myrtle Beach. In addition to the pictures, there’s shells and sand from several locations throughout the country. And I found a few stored by Ruth until she was ready to display them. Each one is labeled so there can be no doubt of their origin.
Then there’s the hearts. Ruth was always on the lookout for heart shaped stones and shells. We have dozens.
Since being here alone, I’ve taken more time to take it all in. Although I knew it was here, I took it for granted. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell Ruth that I appreciated her commitment. I never considered the intricate detail she focused on. The story of our family is on display for all to see. Each item was carefully chosen with purpose.
So, you see, I can’t give up on Michigan yet. The day may come, but not today. If it does, or my time to follow Ruth’s lead comes, the kids have organized their personal things, and I’m thankful they did.