If you google the rule, you might find something like this.
The Golden Rule, “In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” encompasses the underlying and guiding principle of all morality. It instructs us to put ourselves in our neighbor’s place and guide our behavior accordingly. It assumes, of course, that when we put ourselves in our neighbor’s place, we are wise enough not to make any foolish wishes and good enough not to make any evil ones.
Ruth and I attempted to live our life that way. We were able to accomplish our goal some days, but on others we failed. Treating every “neighbor” in an appropriate fashion is sometimes a challenge.
When I was a young boy about seven years old my six-year-old neighbor, Sally, abused the hell out of me. She hit, and kicked, and bit. You name it she did it. Once she locked my four-year-old sister, Sharron, in her garage. As far as we were concerned, she was the neighborhood demon.
My mom had a “don’t hit girls” rule for me. She doubled down with, “no matter what, don’t hit them in the stomach.” Sally had several free shots at this sorry sack of a punching bag.
One day, after another assault from the neighborhood six-year-old gangster, I came running home crying. Mom heard me, came out on the porch. and told me to “Hit her back”. I hesitated and Mom said once again, “Hit her back or you can’t come into the house. Hit her hard.” So, I hit her. Looking back that moment may have been the beginning of the “stand your ground” movement. In any case, Sally didn’t hit me again.
When I was an elementary school principal, we had a “no fighting” rule. Not everyone observed it. There were fights between students that came to blows. Most were one and done. The kids involved in the conflict were back to being friends by the end of day. I followed our guidelines and admonished the perpetrators accordingly.
I recall one fight that caused a lot of consternation. I had a boy who was never in trouble. He was a model student in every way. He had supportive parents, and one day, out of nowhere he found himself on the wrong side of my desk. He got in a fight with a boy that had a history of trouble.
The troublesome boy taunted the rule follower until he broke. He smacked the taunter square in the face. It must have felt good because he threw another to complete the job. I had no choice but to administer the appropriate discipline, but the rule follower’s dad objected to the punishment. The father contended that his son had no choice. He was pushed until he broke. The taunter started the confrontation, while his son merely brought it to a close by defending himself. He had provoked his son before, but his son always turned away from the conflict. This time he struck back.
In the end the boy’s father and I agreed to disagree. His son received the appropriate punishment as required by the school’s code of conduct. He paid his dues and life went on.
The single thing that changed was dramatic. The boy who struck the blow was never taunted again. The verbal aggressor never gave him another lick of trouble. While they never became good friends, the aggressor learned that his reign of terror was over. He didn’t want to get hit again, so he left the boy alone.
The encounter reminded me of the day my mom told me to hit Sally. “Hit her hard.” While it wasn’t a “Golden Rule” moment, it solved the problem and made live easier for everyone. Sometimes you’ve got to break a rule to make a difference.