I’ve found several journals Ruth kept. None of them are elaborate. Some are simple spiral bound notebooks, while others were specifically designed for journalling. There’s a few in Florida and I’ve found several in Michigan. Not one was completely filled. She jumped from book to book and didn’t write anything for months, perhaps years, at a time. One has entries from several decades. I’ll read through them all and try to make one large book. It’ll take some time, but I have alone time to fill. We’ll see.
I found a pink one while going through a box of books after the kids left a few weeks ago. She bought it at an airport as we were preparing for a trip to Vegas. Her first entry talked about the process she went through to make her journal selection. She was sixty-two years old and, on her way to invest her first social security check.
June 2009
I have thoughts – good thoughts – strange thoughts – sometimes I wonder why I have these thoughts. Do others think like this? What would people say if they really knew my thoughts? Will I think the same thing when I’m 70? Did I think like this when I was 20? Who knows and who really cares? Probably just me – which is why I’m writing them down and probably just sharing them with only me, at least until someone finds this. Probably when I’m dead and gone and, if they read it, they may know more of me.
The first thing I thought about that I feel is worthy of writing about is the selection of this book. I’m in the Detroit airport on my way to Vegas. I looked at several books that might be worthy of my thoughts. The first was a lovely, embossed journal with a fold-over magnetic closure, nice but @ $13 I passed. Then a cute little spiral bound number caught my eye – modern graphic design – easy to open and only $9.99. No, I don’t need that. I have lots of paper at home, but I want to write now – tonite on my way to Vegas. So as luck would have it, just as I’m getting to check out, what do I see – $2.99 journals. WOW!
Now the big decision, silver, black faux crock, or hot pink. I go for the contemporary silver as expected, and then, at the last second, I think NO. Go for the pink. You never get pink. You love pink. You look great in pink, and even though you aren’t going to wear it, you’ll look great carrying it around. It makes me happy just looking at it. So, I have a new pink journal, made in the good old USA and out of recycled paper. Can it get any better than this? I think not. I should have bought them all. Perhaps I will on the way home.
If she did, I haven’t found them, but I’ll keep looking. No matter what I find, I’ll be very selective when I write because they were her thoughts, not mine, to share.