Public Service Announcement

The summer between my junior and senior year of college I dated a girl named Rene. We went out a half dozen times, making a couple trips to lake Michigan. I even brought her home once to go to somebody’s something. She was an attractive, blonde Phycology major.

I called on her expertise to answer a simple question. Does it mean anything if I squeeze the toothpaste from the center rather than forcing the paste out from the bottom? She assured me that both options were “normal”. I didn’t have any hidden aggressive tendencies if I squeezed from the center. She deemed it a personal preference. To tell you the truth, I really didn’t care about the answer. I was going to do what I was going to do even if it was “abnormal”. The middle squeeze approach just felt right. I always made sure I didn’t waste any toothpaste buy pushing the paste closer to the top as I emptied the tube.

Last winter a friend visited me in Florida. He helped around the house, and I noticed he loaded the dishwasher with the silverware fork prongs, knife blades, and spoon heads facing upwards. The handles went in first. I didn’t say anything because he was trying to be helpful.

I had some guests at the condo last weekend, and when they left, I found that they loaded the silverware the same way. Handles down. I was surprised.

There may have been a time when I loaded the silverware in the same fashion, but my home economics major wife, Ruth, straightened me out. I thought “handles down” insured that the fork prongs, spoon heads, and knife blades were clean. If there was any residue food when the dishwasher cycle was done, it would be down at the bottom by the handles. That’s when she pointed out that the whole loading of the silverware is based on safety. Not possible food residue.

“When you load with the handles down, you run the risk of stabbing yourself with a knife, or fork prongs, during the unloading process. You don’t want to stab yourself.”

As a result, I’ve loaded the dishwasher that way for decades. It’s handles up for me.

I’ve noticed when I visit friends, and sometimes my relatives, some drape the toilet paper with paper falling near the wall. We’ve always draped ours outward into the room. It’s a hygiene issue. If the paper is near the wall, there’s the danger of germs landing on the wall when you reach for a second piece. (i.e. random poop and pee residue.) Nobody wants that.

I’ve done some online research regarding toothpaste, silverware, and toilet paper over the past few days. There’s a ton of interesting information available. I even found a YouTube video regarding toothpaste squeezing.

The guy in the video was self-shooting his presentation. He placed the toothbrush on the sink and squeezed the tube from the bottom with his left-hand while holding his camera in his right. He did a closeup of the paste coming out and made a major point of waiting for the paste to reseed back into the tube. He demonstrated that if you wait long enough there will be no toothpaste “gunk” on the end of the tube.

I tried it myself last night. The toothpaste tube makers must have made some adjustments since the YouTube video, because I did my usual mid-tube squeeze and the toothpaste sucked itself back into the tube. Voila!!!

My research regarding silverware confirmed Ruth’s instructions. It’s a safety thing. To be honest, GE pointed out that you could load your spoons either way, because there are no sharp edges. Grapefruit spoons might be an exception. I still believe you should load everything face down. If you don’t, you’ll find yourself flipping silverware willy-nilly when you put it away. Having everything face the same way will expedite the process.

My toilet paper research confirmed my beliefs as well. It’s a hygiene thing. The paper should be rolled forward into the room.

What’s my point? Why write about toothpaste, silverware, and toilet paper? After writing 594 stories, I thought it was time for a public service announcement. This is it.