Shortly after I retired, I shared some retirement ideas with my three children and their spouses. Ruth and I would spend fifteen weeks a year with each one of them. Realizing that fifteen weeks could be a bit overwhelming, I told them that it didn’t have to be fifteen consecutive weeks, but rather, they could work out a schedule that worked best for them. We did throw in one proviso, I didn’t want to spend less than three weeks, as the travel implications could be burdensome. I also insisted that our Michigan weeks with David and his crew had to be outside the “snow season”, as we were done with snow.
We’d travel for the remaining seven weeks of the year. The travel would break up some of the time we spent with the kids, and, upon occasion, we’d bring them along. I envisioned taking cruises, visiting golf resorts, and exploring our national parks. Ruth would have favored purchasing a small RV and traveling the open road, but I’m more of a Hampton Inn kinda guy.
I would have enjoyed taking a houseboat trip like the one we did a couple dozen years ago, but I’d want someone else to captain the boat. That’s where the kids could come in. They could have navigated the waterways. I would have favored Lake Powell and Lake Mead. During our one and only houseboat trip to Tennessee, I became a quasi-expert on tying up the boat for the evening. You need long, heavy ropes, and sturdy trees to make sure everything is secure.
My retirement talk was just that, talk. The thing I enjoyed most about it was no one balked. They went right along with my banter, and if push came to shove, I think we could have moved in for a while. Neither one of us would have taken that leap, as we knew they needed their privacy, just like we needed ours.
For the past year they’ve willingly opened their homes to me. Prior to that Ruth and I sometimes stayed in hotels when we visited the California kids. Not always, but sometimes. We thought it was easier on everyone.
Most of the time we stayed just for the day when we visited David and his family. We’d head over to see one of the kids’ athletic events. We drove back and forth because we didn’t want to be intrusive.
When I stay with them now, I limit my visits to two days, max. They’ve got their own lives to live, and I’m adjusting to mine. All in all, things are going well.
I read an article in a recent addition of my AARP magazine about single parents living with their children. It described several popular ideas that many of implemented. One of the most intriguing to me was the “house swap”. Some single parents are giving up their large house to their children, while the kids provide a small house for their parent. It benefits both.
Some elders are buying a “tiny house” and having it placed on the kid’s property. Ruth suggested that we purchase one back in 2015 when David and Lindsay bought their Twin Lake home. The lot was large enough to handle one, and when we were gone, it would have provided extra space for other visiting guests. We never got past the talking stage, but we did explore some nice tiny homes.
The “housemate” option is one that’s been around for a long time. We’d simply move in with one of them. After my Grandpa Tebo died, Grandma Tebo lived with us for a couple of years. I’m not sure how my parents felt about the situation, but as far as I was concerned, it worked out okay.
My Michigan condo is 1900 square feet on each level. It’s large enough for me to live on one level while one of the kid’s family lived on the other. It would probably work best for my California kids, but they’d have to move to Michigan for that to happen.
The “glam garage” involves retrofitting the family garage into a designated home for the parent. It’s a take-off on the “mother-in-law suite.” Elizabeth and Sutton currently use their garage as a music studio, and Elizabeth does her “on-line” therapy work with her clients from there, but it would make a great “glam garage”.
For now, we’ll move forward with the status quo. David and Lindsay plan to turn Lindsay’s main floor office into a guest bedroom. They also plan to expand the half bath and add a shower. That’ll make a great space for me when I visit.
While I have no plans to rotate through the fifteen-week tour I originally proposed, I do know I’m welcome, no matter where I land.