Life Lessons

It’s Just Coffee

When I began my look into meeting new women on a dating site, I moved forward cautiously.  It was new territory, and I didn’t want to make any wrong moves.  Turns out I haven’t made many moves at all.  The ones I had in my youth are gone.

Over the past several months I’ve seen the profiles of well over seven hundred women. I haven’t read all of them.  I scroll past most because of where they live. Some neglect to provide a picture, and I’ll not interested in “flying blind”, so I reject them before reading a word.

Most of us are looking for the same thing.  We’d like someone to hang out with.  Before I ventured out, I discussed this with everyone in my family – my three children, David, Elizabeth and Michael, their spouses, Lindsay, Sutton and Kate and my grandchildren, Brady and Eva.  I’m open to reviewing my options with Young Jackson James, but he’s not quite three and has no personal experience dealing with women other than his mom, aunts, and Eva.

Everyone has been supportive. The guys have said things like, “good luck” and “go for it”. The girls have been more specific.  “If you find someone you like online, invite her out for a drink or coffee.  You’ll be able to tell a lot in a few minutes.”

I’ve had a drink or coffee with four different women.  The first was from Orlando.  We met in Clermont for coffee and a week later I met her to play golf and have lunch at her home course.  We communicated through the dating app and a few texts.  She’s very nice.  We met for lunch a few weeks ago, but I think that ship has sailed.  She’s in Orlando, and although that’s only an hour away, I’d like a companion closer to home so we can get together for last minute golf dates or a quick bite.

Since meeting her, I’ve met with a total of three other women.  Two for drinks and one for coffee.  I don’t plan to connect with the two drink ladies again.  I have played golf with the coffee lady, and we may play again one day.  That’ll be it though, golf and maybe lunch sometime.  We’ll see.

Before making my first connection, I had a conversation with my granddaughter, Eva.  She’s sixteen, relatively new to having a male friend, and is familiar with The Villages.  I said, “Eva, you know The Villages.  If I asked someone out for coffee, where should I meet her?  Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, or Panera?”

She was very direct.  “TGO, if you took her out for dinner would you take her to McDonalds or Arby’s?”

“No.”

“Well then, you’ve got to go to Panera.  Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts are like McDonalds and Arby’s.”

I never thought of it like that.

Before I met with the four ladies, I let them pick the place.  I wanted them to feel comfortable in their surroundings.  When I met the woman from Orlando, I suggested we meet in Clermont as that was about halfway between us.  She chose Starbucks.  I thought her choice was a bit humorous given Eva’s advice.  I made a similar offer to the second coffee lady.  She chose Dunkin Donuts.  My heart smiled, not because of the lady herself, but rather her choice.

I can’t help but wonder if someone down the road chooses Panera, she might be a good fit. That would be as good a predictor as anything I’ve experienced so far.