I know one poem by heart. It was written by A. E. Housman and first published in 1896. It tells the story of a young man who failed to follow advice.
When I Was One-and-Twenty
I was student teaching at Lawton High School in Lawton, Michigan in the spring of 1969. My supervisor, Dixie Boothby, became ill shortly after my time with her began. Her substitute and I worked together during her absence. Dixie was getting ready to retire and her substitute was ten years my senior. I don’t recall her name, but a couple days into our time together, she gave me one of the classes to run on my own. The next week she added a second, and the third week a third.
Dixie was out for about a month, and when she returned, she took all the classes back. I sat on the sidelines and observed.
I was dating a girl from Kalamazoo’s Nazareth College at the time. We met my junior year and had been exclusive for over a year. Things weren’t always what I’d hoped they’d be. When Dixie took my classes back, I had some time on my hands, so I read from our senior English literature book. I ran across Housman’s poem, and it struck a chord with me. I memorized it and it’s still in my brain.
About a year later, I started dating Ruth. She was more into manly men than poets, so I refrained from sharing my writing with her. After about a year and a half of dating, we split up. She wanted to get married, and I didn’t. Later, I started feeling sorry for myself, thinking I’d made a mistake, and wrote a poem. I can’t find it, and I remember just the very beginning.
I’ve been drinking more beer lately
And listening to sadder songs.
It’s not quite Housman like but it’s got a similar back story. Unrequited love. Heartache. Heartbreak. None of it feels good. All of it feels empty. Perhaps you’ve been there.
Putting your thoughts into words, helps bring clarity. Reading other’s thoughts can help do the same. The thing is, they need to surface. That’s why some people go into therapy. A good therapist can help you shovel through your garbage. Each of our bins needs a good cleaning now and then. If we don’t deal with it, it builds up and no one needs to carry a pile of crud with them each day.
Lost loves, troubles at work, financial stress, dealing with health issues, raising children, and getting older are challenges we’ll each face one time or another. They’re not all glamourous, but they’re all real.
Next time you’re feeling down, for whatever reason, read a good book, write a poem, seek professional help, consult with God if that works for you, but don’t try to shovel the crud alone. Sometimes our shovels are just too small.
🩷