Helene, Milton, MacGyver, the Kids and Me

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know I had shoulder surgery between two hurricanes, Helene and Milton. David was here for Helene, and we drove home from the University of Florida Hospital in Gainesville through a couple of downpours on our way back to The Villages.

Our GPS directed us away from I-75 along several back roads as we headed south. Ultimately, it took us back to I-75 in Ocala which was flooded with traffic. It was kind of a free for all. Most cars were heading north, but an almost equal number were heading south like David and me. It was like people weren’t really sure where to go. The seventy-minute drive took us two hours.

Most of Helene’s damage occurred north of us in North Carolina and Tennessee. It will be years before they recover.

Florida’s big hit was in the sparsely populated area known as the Big Bend region which is northwest of Tampa.

David and I stayed put for the week he was here. Elizabeth stayed with me during my second week following surgery. Most of those two weeks were spent resting and clearing my brain from the leftover anesthesia. I had two epiphanies while BZ was here. Both have proven to serve me well.

The toughest part of my recuperation has been dealing with the sling I wear. I’m supposed to wear it unless I’m in the shower. There are a lot of moving parts for a one-handed man. Two flaps need to be joined by a strap that comes over my left shoulder and around my neck. Gathering the three pieces, holding them together, and affixing the strap is quite a project. One sleepless night I developed an idea that MacGyver would envy.

I went out to the garage and took the carabiner that holds my golf towel off my golf bag so I could modify my sling. I used it to connect the two sling flaps. That made it easier to loop the strap through the flaps. There’s just enough play to provide the flexibility I need. I can only use my right hand because my left is tucked in the sling. That slows everything down.

My second sling issue is holding the sling itself. While the sling people at the hospital adjusted it for a proper fit, I needed to rest on something so I could slide my arm in. I googled my issue and garnered some information that helped. YouTube videos showed a man placing his sling on a bedroom chest of drawers. I don’t have one, so I turned my attention to my kitchen counter. One level is too high, and one is too short. When I added the cutting board that our friend, Gene, made for Ruth, I had a level that was just right. It’s a MacGyver solution that was inspired by the Goldilocks and the Three Bears story resurrected from my childhood. You have to dig deep sometimes.

I’ve only worn underwear three times in the last month because putting them on is a challenge, and quite frankly, I don’t see the need when it’s just me hanging out. Pulling up the left side is an issue, but MacGyver came through again. I use a white plastic cooking spoon to make my right arm a bit longer. It helps extend the elastic waistband for a more comfortable fit.

I do wear them for my memoir writers’ group and the one time I went to a restaurant. You know, more formal occasions.

Putting toothpaste on my toothbrush was an easy fix. I just squeeze a dab directly into my mouth. Problem solved.

I found out I can drive the car, although I don’t do it every day. I looped a large strap to the inside of the car. They used it in the hospital to help steady me when I walked from room to room. Someone stood behind me holding the strap around my waist. I don’t need it now so I MacGyvered it into an extension on my drivers’ side door. It makes it easier to close.

Michael was here when Milton hit The Villages. He arrived the night Michael and I were preparing for my two-week follow-up at the hospital. We took I-75 north on the way up and encountered literally hundreds of utility trucks heading south. Our return trip to The Villages from Gainesville was taken on secondary roads

Milton took a toll on The Villages. Water and wind were the primary culprits. The Villages were designed to handle massive amounts of water. The retention pond across from my house rose at least twelve feet. When the ponds get too high, the water is redirected to the golf courses. They flood, not the houses.

Now that the storm is over, water is being pushed to the courses through the watering system. It’s being pumped constantly every day and night. I don’t think there will be any golf played here until at least next month. Maybe longer. There’s just too much water and the courses won’t dry out until the watering stops.

My single biggest challenge during Milton was when the power went out. Michael and I lost it for fourteen hours. It went out at nine o’clock at night and came back on at eleven the next morning. Mike and I were sitting in my two power recliners when we lost it. We were lying back, watching TV. He’s five foot eleven and thirty-one years my junior, so he just popped up. I’m a shrunken five foot seven with one arm in a sling, so my exit was more challenging.

I was able to sit up in the chair without any help. After that I shimmied and slid my butt down near the footrest. I swung my right foot over it. Once it was securely on the floor, I prayed my left would follow. Thankfully it did.

I had to stop a couple of times during the process to make sure everything was going as planned. Mike stood and watched. He would have helped me if I needed it, but after a couple of hurricane inspired cocktails, I think he found my predicament to be entertaining.

Perhaps you’ve found this written description to be so too.

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