My daughter-in-law, Lindsay, attended a work-related workshop a couple of weeks ago. Each participant learned a few things about what makes them tick. Our personality guides us as we deal with the events of each day. When I arrived for the Thanksgiving holiday, we talked a bit about her results.
She’s a blue/gold personality. I’m not surprised by that as I know a little about such studies and am able to focus on individuals. In contrast, her husband, David is orange/green. They travel through life together and when they use their strengths and allow their partner to use theirs, there’ll be some challenges, but they have the entire spectrum covered.
I’m green/blue. Most people land on adjacent colors: blue/gold, gold/blue, gold/green, green/gold, green/orange, orange/green, etc. Opposites, green/blue or blue/green, like me, are rare. I think my daughter-in-law, Kate, is gold/orange. That’s another rare combination.
There’s no right or wrong. We are what we are. If we’re aware of our strengths and weaknesses we can get through life more productively. Maybe even live happily ever after.
Ruth was more of a rainbow. After taking several different personality inventories, they all scored the same. Her spectrum was very tight with just a touch of orange more than any other.
When I was working in my “real jobs”, I took several personality inventories. I became a trainer for two companies that specialize in helping people see their inner selves, True Colors and Insight Learning. Both of these use color designations to help explain the different types of personalities.
Myers-Briggs is another personality assessment and it’s the first one I experienced. When I was elementary school principal in Addison, one of our parents was in the human resource department at Consumers Energy. He was learning to administer and assess Myers-Briggs as a part of his job. He needed to administer x number of tests before Myers-Briggs would certify him. He asked me if he could work with my staff. I agreed and offered the opportunity to everyone.
Every member took the inventory. They probably all remember their scores. A few years later, we all did True Colors. They may recall their colors rather than their alphabet.
I turned out to be INTJ on the Myers-Briggs. INTJ stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging. People with this personality type tend to exhibit the following characteristics:
- Introverted: They often prefer solitary activities over social interactions and are more focused on internal thoughts and ideas.
- Intuitive: They look beyond the immediate facts and are more interested in future possibilities and abstract concepts.
- Thinking: They prioritize logic and objectivity over personal feelings, making decisions based on rational analysis.
- Judging: They prefer structure, planning, and organization, enjoying a sense of control and predictability.
Other key traits of INTJs include:
- Strategic Thinking: They are known for their ability to plan long-term and come up with innovative solutions to complex problems.
- Confidence: INTJs often have strong self-assurance in their ideas and capabilities.
- Independence: They value their independence and prefer to work autonomously rather than in teams.
- High Standards: They hold themselves and others to high standards, striving for excellence in their pursuits.
- Reserved Nature: While they may not be the most expressive emotionally, they are deeply introspective and thoughtful.
The INTJ of Myers Briggs aligns perfectly with the green/blue of True Colors.
When I was in Britton-Macon my staff did True Colors. I had an outside contractor conduct the initial assessments. I led a couple of follow-up sessions with the staff. I also led my Board of Education through the process.
When we understand ourselves better, and know what makes other people tick, I think we can get through each day more smoothly. Smooth isn’t always important, but conflict can be destructive or at least unproductive. When we understand another person’s point of view, productivity increases.
One of the things we need to remember is what the other person wants may not be automatic for us. Before we had children, Ruth and I spent the end of each day lying in bed talking. After we started having children, sleep became more important. Important life discussions diminished.
More than once during our pre-children days Ruth asked me if I loved her. My standard reply was something like, “Of course, I married you didn’t I” That’s not what she was looking for. All she wanted was a simple “I love you” from time to time. The blue in me didn’t recognize that and the logical green in me assumed she knew. I should have told her more.
I shared that story with Lindsay and David when we spoke about personality styles during the Thanksgiving break. The two of them could relate. Blue/gold Lindsay doesn’t hear “I love you” from orange/green David as often as she’d like. Hopefully, he’ll take the hint from our conversation and share his feelings more readily.
Everybody has a personality color spectrum. You may not know yours, but simple assessments are easily assessable. Being aware of yours, can help with all phases of your life.
If I had been as cognizant in my personal life as I was in my professional, I would have said “I love you Ruth” at the end of each day during our fifty-one years and sixteen days. But I didn’t and I wish I had.