Moving Forward

I’ve started the new year by making some changes. While preparing my audiobook I read several passages several times. Many had a common theme. I offer a ton of advice but upon personal reflection I’ve determined that I seldom follow it.  It’s a kind of do as I say, not as I do, approach.

I’m following my own advice from now on.  If I want things to be different, I have to do them differently.  In no particular order of importance, here’s a few examples.

1.  I’ve gone through all the kitchen cupboards and drawers.  I wanted to find out what I had.  I tend to use the same things over and over. Ruth set everything up and organized it as she saw fit. I’d seen most of it over the years but took everything for granted.  She was able to get what she wanted when she wanted it.  She had a passion for cloth napkins.  We used them every day.  I still do.  We have several colors, and a few still have their sales tags. I’d say there’s at least eight dozen and probably an equal number in Michigan.  I only use two.  One’s on the table and one’s in the wash. I’ve folded everything else neatly and put them where I can find them. I’m going to go through the same process when I return to Michigan in May.
2. Ruth and I bought an I-Pad so we could Facetime with young Jackson James.  That’s all I’ve ever used it for.  I took a class this week that explained its many features. It’s pretty cool. The instructor was wonderful.  I’ll be using it more frequently now that I know what I’m doing.
3. I’ve started cooking and eating better.  When David and Michael were here for my shoulder surgery, they showed me how to use our air-fryer.  Mike bought it for Ruth one Christmas, but we used it more as a crockpot.  I’ve been using it for fresh fish and chicken.  It’s pretty easy.  My new Cutco knives I bought from Brady are coming in very handy.
4. There are fifteen buttons on my microwave.  I’ve lived in this house for over seven years, and I’ve only used two: Cook Time and Popcorn.  I’ve used the Vegetable button, and the Fresh setting, almost every night since Christmas.  I’ve been nuking broccoli, green beans, and those little baby carrots.  I want to figure out a way to prepare brown rice, so it doesn’t taste like cardboard, but all my efforts have failed.
5. I joined a gym and have been going to work out at least four times a week for the past month.  I’ve worked with a trainer three times.  I’m avoiding arm work until my shoulder surgeon gives me the green light.  I meet with him next Thursday, so I’ve got my fingers crossed.  My new diet and work out regiment include a component aimed at strengthening and reducing the size of my core.  I gained ten pounds sitting in a chair for seven weeks following shoulder surgery.  I’ve lost it all and am aiming to lose a few dozen more in time for golf this summer.
6. I joined a couple of singles groups here in The Villages last year.  My shoulder surgery and the holidays interfered with my participation this season.  I signed up on-line for a new group last Sunday and went to three meetings this week.  I volunteered for the “sign in” committee.  When they have large events, people have to check in.  I’ll be one of the “checkers”.  I’m going to the next “greeters” training to learn how to be a “greeter”. Checkers and greeters interact with everyone, so I hope to expand my group of single friends this way.
7. One of the new group meetings is for people who find themselves alone because of the loss of a spouse.  Some through death.  Some through divorce.  They meet once a week for two hours.  There are about two-dozen people in the group.  Everyone was very welcoming, and the leader is well organized.  I plan to attend each week.  There’s one other guy in the group.  He attended his first meeting this week as well.  We learned at the end of class that we’re the first males to join.  It’s always been women only.  We’re going to be trail blazers.
8. I’m going to start meeting one on one with a new therapist this week.  I’ve got things to unload.  I’m not sure how often we’ll meet but if I’m going to move forward, I’ve got to do it mentally as well as physically.  Writing helps but talking does too. It’s been almost two years since I met one on one with someone.  I’ve got to clean out the cobwebs.

So, that’s it.  I want to be a better version of me.  I never lived alone until I lost Ruth. I had my parents and two sisters early in life.  When I went off the college, I had roommates and guys that shared an apartment.  When I started teaching, I lived with at least one guy until Ruth, and I got married. Alone is different, so I need to be.