Big Day Today

It’s a big day today. I’m starting my cardio rehab. Immediately after receiving my two heart stents, I was directed to start five medications and go through cardio rehab. I was preparing to return to Michigan, so I opted for rehab in the mitten. I arrived almost four weeks ago, but today’s the first time they had an opening. Looks like I’m not the only one who needs it.

I’ve stopped taking one of the meds because I don’t need it any longer and a second has been cut in half. I may always have to take something, but I think less is more when it comes to taking medications. Taking less means you’re more healthy. (To all my fellow wordsmiths, I know I should use the word healthier, but more helps make my point.)

I don’t recall how old my dad was when I first talked to him about his health, but my Grandpa Barner was still alive and all three of my children had been born. We were at a family gathering celebrating somebody’s something. My mom reported that my dad had been advised to lose some weight during his latest physical. He helped himself to a plate piled high with homemade goodies and I urged him to rethink his choices. I said, “I want you to be around to watch these three grow up. They’ve already lost one grandfather; they need you.”

He didn’t listen that day, but one day he did start losing weight. I think it was more of a health decline than a conscious choice. He was never a tall man, but always a strong one. You can’t load cases of pop on and off a truck for thirty years without being strong. His forearms were huge, and his grip was mighty. The only thing soft about him was his heart.

As I’ve written before, my choice to lose weight started last fall when I started listening to the advice I’d offered to others while writing my blog. If I wanted my life to be different, I had to live differently. Losing weight and exercising more were easy steps that I’d ignored for years. I asked my dad to take better care of himself but ignored my plea when it came to my own well-being. I have a friend who would call my failure to follow my own advice “bullshit” and he’d be right.

It turns out that my awakening last fall, came a little late. I should have been taking care of myself all my life. I thought not smoking and not requiring any prescription medications were evidence of my success. I was wrong. Now I’m dealing with heart disease, taking medication and going through cardio rehab.

I plan to be the poster child for my cardio group. I’ll be attending thirty-six sessions over the next few months. I’ll be working out and learning more about diet. If there are any nay sayers in the group, I can share my path over the past six months.

I’ll also learn more about adjusting my mental state and having supportive relationships. I already know a little bit about that too. I’ll share that if I think it will help someone make a change.

I can tell them that I started on a better path before my latest health scare. When I got to Michigan, none of my pants or shorts fit. I had to buy a new belt and I’m already on the third hole in the new one. Some of my shirts are too large so I’ve started sorting through those. The suit pants that I wore in my daughter’s wedding fifteen years ago, fell to the floor when I put them on. I’ve lost over forty pounds since my epiphany last fall, but not the desire to lose more.

And if my fellow class members ask me why I’ve changed I’ll just say, “Because if I wanted my life to be different, I had to start doing things differently.” I’ve got a lot of reasons to live longer, and I need to be healthier to do them.

If they ask for specifics, I’ll offer a list.

I want to hit the golf ball farther and play more often. I want to keep fleecing my poker friends and have the opportunity to keep telling lies to each other. I’ve got new places to see and old to revisit. I want to live longer than my mother and, if I’m healthy, catch my friend Ed.  If she chooses to marry, I want to dance with Eva at her wedding and just love her no matter what. I want to keep talking to Brady about his dreams and watch his insights on life continue to grow. And I want to hear four-year-old Young Jackson James’s valedictorian speech when he graduates from high school.

But most importantly, I want to keep loving the people who love me… to see their faces, share their time, hear their voices and feel their arms around me.