I started writing my blog in November of 2017. The following June I wrote a story called My Three Wise Men. I posted it on Father’s Day. It was about the three men that had the greatest impact on me. I wrote first about my father.
In 1995 I gave a journal to each of my parents as a Christmas gift and asked them to record stories from their past. I have my father’s journal. My request of him reads as follows:
Dad – you, Uncle Harry Mac and Uncle Harry Barner have shared dozens of tales from your youth. I love hearing them. Please use this book to write them down so our family will always be able to know “how it used to be”. I’ll get you more books if you need them! Love Rob
I gave Dad that journal thirty years ago. He had it for the last four years of his life but managed to write on just thirteen pages. I value each one because he wrote by hand. His handwriting deteriorated with his health, but his memories were clear. He didn’t claim to be a writer. He just shared a few random thoughts on a half dozen random days.
Uncle Harry Mac was my dad’s best friend. They married sisters. Harry married Ruth and my dad married Kay. Uncle Harry Barner was the younger brother of my mom (Kay) and Aunt Ruth.
When they spoke, I listened. I didn’t always follow their advice, but I knew they always had my best interest at heart. I think I learned more from the story of their lives than the advice they offered. I listened to their words but watched their deeds.
My three wise men operated through a common theme. Family first. They worked to ensure that each of their children was ready to face the world, but they expected each child to be able to make it on his/her own.
As I raised my own children, I recalled the lessons I learned from these three men. Ruth and I did our best to make sure they lived good lives. We wanted them to make their own way in the world. Becoming independent was one of the lessons we wanted them to perfect. Being independent meant that we didn’t always agree with the path they took. We certainly didn’t want Elizabeth and Michael to move to California, but those moves led to the addition of three wonderful people: our daughter-in-law, Kate, our grandson, Young Jackson James, and our son-in-law, Sutton. We wouldn’t trade them for anyone.
David stayed in Michigan and his marriage to Lindsay brought three new people into our lives. Their children, Brady and Eva, are becoming independent in their own right. David and Lindsay are probably holding their breath from time to time, just as Ruth and I held ours. Stumbles and falls are a part of the journey. We want to catch them, but we’ve got to give them room to learn from their own mistakes. Trial and error are a part of each of our lives.
My dad’s thirteen pages inspired me to start this blog. I valued his words and wished to retell some of his tales. When he told stories, I just listened and learned. The same held true for my two Uncle Harrys. I want my kids, and their kids, and all of the kids that may follow to know us and the story of our lives. I plan to add as many as I remember for as long as I am able..
The last line of the story I wrote seven years ago, reads as follows.
I think on this Father’s Day they would want me to share their most important life lesson which was … each of us should do our best to live a good story.
When I reread my tale the other day, I realized that I’ve been using the final words of My Three Wise Men to sign each of my books. I think they’re worth sharing on this Father’s Day.
