One

I saw a video clip on Facebook the other day that compared one’s life to riding on a merry-go-round.  You get one trip around. New people get on as riders depart.  The departing part is dying.   

The comparison emphasizes the fact that life is short.  We get a turn to live it but we’re never sure how long.  Most would agree that those who take better care of themselves by paying attention to their health have a better chance at a longer ride.  That makes sense to me.

When we’re young we take a lot of things for granted.  Health is high on the list.  Most of us think we’re indestructible.  We fall and bounce back up.  We may skin a knee, but we accept skinned knees as a part of growing up.  They help build character. 

I’m in the last quarter of my ride. The first time I really contemplated that was when Ruth’s ended.  I had assumed she’d ride longer than me because woman tend to live longer than men. That didn’t turn out to be the case.  

The following is an abbreviated version of a post I made on January 12.  I wrote it while in Florida.  

1.  I’ve gone through all the kitchen cupboards and drawers.  I wanted to find out what I had.  I tend to use the same things over and over. Ruth set everything up and organized it as she saw fit. I’d seen most of it over the years but took everything for granted.  She was able to get what she wanted when she wanted it.  She had a passion for cloth napkins.  We used them every day.  I still do.  We have several colors, and a few still have their sales tags. I’d say there’s at least eight dozen and probably an equal number in Michigan.  I only use two.  One is on the table and one’s in the wash. I’ve folded everything else neatly and put them where I can find them. I’m going to go through the same process when I return to Michigan in May.
2. Ruth and I bought an I-Pad so we could Facetime with young Jackson James.  That’s all I’ve ever used it for.  I took a class this week that explained its many features. It’s pretty cool. The instructor was wonderful.  I’ll be using it more frequently now that I know what I’m doing.
3. I’ve started cooking and eating better.  When David and Michael were here for my shoulder surgery, they showed me how to use our air-fryer.  Mike bought it for Ruth one Christmas, but we used it more as a crockpot.  I’ve been using it for fresh fish and chicken.  It’s pretty easy.  My new Cutco knives I bought from Brady are coming in very handy.
4. There are fifteen buttons on my microwave.  I’ve lived in this house for over seven years, and I’ve only used two: Cook Time and Popcorn.  I’ve used the Vegetable button, and the Fresh setting, almost every night since Christmas.  I’ve been nuking broccoli, green beans, and those little baby carrots.  I want to figure out a way to prepare brown rice, so it doesn’t taste like cardboard, but all my efforts have failed.
5. I joined a gym and have been going to work out at least four times a week for the past month.  I’ve worked with a trainer three times.  I’m avoiding arm work until my shoulder surgeon gives me the green light.  I meet with him next Thursday, so I’ve got my fingers crossed.  My new diet and work out regiment include a component aimed at strengthening and reducing the size of my core.  I gained ten pounds sitting in a chair for seven weeks following shoulder surgery.  I’ve lost it all and am aiming to lose a few dozen more in time for golf this summer.
6. I joined a couple of singles groups here in The Villages last year.  My shoulder surgery and the holidays interfered with my participation this season.  I signed up on-line for a new group last Sunday and went to three meetings this week.  I volunteered for the “sign in” committee.  When they have large events, people have to check in.  I’ll be one of the “checkers”.  I’m going to the next “greeters” training to learn how to be a “greeter”. Checkers and greeters interact with everyone, so I hope to expand my group of single friends this way.
7. One of the new group meetings is for people who find themselves alone because of the loss of a spouse.  Some through death.  Some through divorce.  They meet once a week for two hours.  There are about two-dozen people in the group.  Everyone was very welcoming, and the leader is well organized.  I plan to attend each week.  There’s one other guy in the group.  He attended his first meeting this week as well.  We learned at the end of class that we’re the first males to join.  It’s always been women only.  We’re going to be trail blazers.
8. I’m going to start meeting one on one with a new therapist this week.  I’ve got things to unload.  I’m not sure how often we’ll meet but if I’m going to move forward, I’ve got to do it mentally as well as physically.  Writing helps but talking does too. It’s been almost two years since I met one on one with someone.  I’ve got to clean out the cobwebs.

I returned to Michigan in May with a new shoulder and two heart stents.  I planned on the shoulder.  The stents were a bonus.

Since returning I’ve made some progress with numbers 1 and 2. I’ve modified numbers 3, 4 and 5 but I’m moving forward.  I’ve lost over forty-five pounds, eat only brown rice, never white, eliminated all boxed foods from my diet, and read a lot of labels before purchasing something new.

I didn’t do much with number 6.  I did go to a couple of group activities but discovered I do a better job meeting people in small groups.

Number 7 is my biggest success. In fact, it caused me to move on from number 8.  My original therapist retired, and the new one was more interested in how she was getting paid than listening to my story, so she was one and done.

I’ve met some wonderful people in number 7.  The guy who showed up on January 8th with me is running a group now.  I may do so this winter.  I’ve been dating the leader I mentioned.  She’s helped me get my act together. We talk about everything.  That’s the thing I’ve missed most since losing Ruth.  Good conversations lead to better decisions.

So, there you have it.  I’m doing much better than I was six months ago.  I’m becoming the best version of myself I can be.  I’ve met new people who are helping me have a fun-filled last quarter.  We only get one trip around on our merry-go-round.  I want to make mine count.