David and Lindsay’s twenty-first wedding anniversary was August 6th. I forgot all about it and wouldn’t have remembered at all if I hadn’t spoken with Lindsay that day. Shame on me.
Years ago, Ruth and I divided the bill paying process between the two of us. She paid for some things, and I paid for others. We never argued about money after making that decision. I paid the most because I made the most, and we both had our own discretionary income that way. We implemented that method when David went off to college and continued for the rest of our marriage.
One of her responsibilities was gifts: birthdays, Christmas, Valentines for Brady, Eva, and Young Jackson James, anniversaries, all the other special occasions and “just because she wanted to”. She was always on the lookout for meaningful treasures. Sometimes she bought things, put them away for safe keeping, and forgot where she put them or even that she purchased them at all. More than one Christmas gift was presented a year, or two, later.
That’s my excuse for forgetting the kid’s anniversary. There were a ton of years when that was Ruth’s responsibility. Now it’s mine. I think this is the first one I’ve forgotten. To be clear, I address only the big things like birthdays and Christmas. I know, anniversaries are big things too. I usually remember and at least make a phone call or send a text. Not this time.
There were several years when we received a preprinted calendar for Christmas. I think Lindsay had the most, if not all, of them made for us. They included a little picture on each person’s birthday or anniversary. It was a great reminder. I haven’t gotten one since Ruth passed. It may have been too difficult to omit a birthday. I get that.
This year, sometime over the summer, Lindsay did provide a written reminder on my personal calendar. I discovered the entry quite by accident while looking for my six-month follow-up with my cardiologist. Here’s a picture. I’m not making this up or judging. Just reporting.
I’m lucky to have the relationship I do with all of my kids and their spouses. They truly love each other and do anything they can to support one another. More importantly, they like each other. Not all dads can say that.
As Lindsay, Kate and Sutton joined, we loved them too. It was, and is, a true bond. They’re not perfect, but I think they’re perfect together. That’s all that really counts.
Oh, and that 15 on the photo above is for November 15th. Lindsay turns forty-five that day. I’m pretty sure I won’t forget.