Next Wednesday

Next Wednesday I start facilitating a group for Singles New Beginnings.  The official description reads as follows: The focus of this course is taking small action steps to grow your relationships in number and depth.  Instead of working alone, the company of like-minded people can make the difference between success and failure, hope and despair.  And it’s fun.

If you’ve been reading as I’ve been writing you know that I attended my first session on January 8th of this year. You also know that day was the first time that men joined the group. Daryl and I were the first, and only, male attendees. Now we’re each going to be facilitating a group. We boys have come a long way.

Daryl is a former educator like me. He’s been married a couple of times and he’s eighteen years my junior. He spent his working years in Alaska, and although he hasn’t said so, I think that’s where he learned to fish. That’s one of his passions. His most important is helping people grow. That’s what educators do. We try to help people improve their lot in life.

We both got lucky and found a group that could help us become better versions of ourselves. He didn’t have an epiphany in his closet recording a book he’d written but he’d been alone long enough to know that, like me, he wanted something more. We’re both still works in progress, but we’re moving forward each in our own way.

Barbara originally founded the group for single women looking to date. The women in the group wanted to open it up to men but Barbara balked at the concept because she didn’t think she had anything to share with men. More importantly, she thought that attendees wouldn’t share at an intimate level in mixed company. Daryl and I proved her wrong. The women in the group kept sharing and Daryl and I unloaded too. That’s the thing about asking for help, you need to be honest while seeking what you want. One of the group’s guiding principles states: “Asking for what you want increases your chances of getting it.”

One of the handouts that we use in the group provides these profiles about the three facilitators.

1. Barbara, founder of SNB, has long used and taught these life coaching processes. She facilitates one of the three weekly SNB classes in The Villages. She launches free SNB groups that become self-sustaining.

2. Daryl is a retired educator, who spent his career helping people reach their full potential. He loves teaching and facilitating and enjoys leading SNB South in enlightening and meaningful discussions and activities.

3. Bob, a career educator, joined SNB to take a step forward in his life as a single man. His growth through the group inspired him to lead a group of individuals ready to engage in their next chapter.

While the primary mission of the group will be honored no matter who leads, we’ll each have our own style. Barbara does a lot of research and develops handouts to support the things she wants to address. Daryl is well read and offers observations from a variety of experts. I tend to tell personal stories. We each have to be true to ourselves and share at a level we’re comfortable with. That’s how the process works.

We’re all at a stage in life where we’re too old to play games with moving forward.  We don’t have time to waste.  Ruth and I had a lot of couple friends, but few single ones.  I believe that married people and single people walk through life differently.  When you’re married, you have the opportunity to share every moment of your life.  Good times and bad.  That’s important.  That was a vacant part of my life for over two years.

Since joining the group I have several new friends. I took a risk.  Opening up myself to others has helped me move forward.  I like the path I’m on and want to help others find theirs.  It’s just that simple.