One of my fellow memoir writers recently used two words in a story that struck a chord with me. Avoid and omit. The week before another writer shared an interview she’d conducted. The interviewee had used the word “nigger’ but the writer said n-word when she read the story aloud. That struck a chord with me too.
In each instance I spoke up and shared my feelings regarding their writing. Both are excellent. They each have their own style. I enjoy listening and learn from both. They’re deep thinkers.
Following the n-word reading I asked the group what they thought about actually reading the story as it was written. Would they have been offended? Many of those who spoke up would have been. Not me. The writer was, after all, quoting someone for an historical retelling of events that took place in Chicago during the 80’s.
I asked Microsoft’s AI component Copilot for some information regarding the word nigger. I wanted to know when we stopped using it. This is what I received.
Want to talk about something else? I’m not able to discuss that topic, but I’m always happy to chat about other things! What else is on your mind?
When I received AI’s response, I wondered why the developers felt the need to censor history. Why is that? Are we so thin skinned that we can’t accept our past. I know we don’t have to celebrate our mistakes but perhaps if we acknowledge their existence we won’t repeat them.
To be clear, I’ve never used the word. My grandfather did upon occasion. He and a misguided brother-in-law were the only relatives that I recall who used it. My grandfather was born in 1899 and that was the language of the day. My brother-in-law was a bigot. That’s what prompted him.
I do my best to avoid words that will offend when I speak or write. I do use some salty language when talking with some of my Michigan buddies. We jab each other with colorful language at the poker table. It’s not a point of pride but it is how we roll sometimes.
I avoid and omit writing things that I think might be hurtful to others. My goal is never to offend. That’s why I asked Ruth to review my earliest writings. She pointed out friends and relatives that might take offence, so I used alternative words, avoided certain topics or trashed entire documents. She let me know that I had plenty to share. I didn’t need to be controversial. I could leave that to professionals.
I know I’m taking a chance right now with you. You may not agree with my views on the matter, but we should still be able to be friends. We’ll see.
I agree with you. I don’t think we should omit things because they are uncomfortable. Life is uncomfortable. People just need to be conscious of context and reason.
A quote should be accurate so we do not mislead. We misunderstand each other regularly when both parties are sincerely trying to say and hear accurately. Once the person speaking intentionally alters what they are saying, misunderstandings will increase. The last paragraph confronts a core issue in our culture now. “I know I’m taking a chance with you right now. You may not agree with my views on the matter, but we should still be able to be friends. We’ll see.
It scares me to think AI is already censoring history. My dad was a racist. It offended me when he blamed his woes on people he never met because of their skin color. At winter break my Freshman year of college it took all my courage to ask him not to tell nigger jokes when I was home. He got angry. However by my next visit he stopped when I was around.
Two weeks before my dad died in 1998 at the age of 72, his anger took over. He finally shared for the first time what he believed since he was 19 years old. As a foot soldier in many battles including the Battle of the Bulge in WW11, he killed many Nazis. Near the end of the war when he went to retrieve the dead Nazi’s ID tags, he realized they were 12-13 year old boys. He decided even God could not forgive him for killing children. My sister got a Chaplin to visit my dad a few days before he died. He helped him realize acts of war required him to do immoral things. One question the Chaplin asked relieved my dad’s soul, “Would you have killed teen boys if there had not been a war? “. “NEVER! “ replied my dad. After that he relaxed and died peacefully.
Ever since this happened, I wonder what trauma happened in that person’s life that gets projected onto others.
Still and will always be my friend!
Growing up in a white/Italian/German neighborhood of Chicago, we seldom used the n-word since we did not associate with blacks.
However, we heard plenty of dagos, wops, japs, spics, etc. I seldom used the n-word, and don’t care to hear it spoken. However, it was common in the past, and I can see the point of using it in stories, movies, plays, etc. So, I am OK with that.
I agree, things happened in the past, I grew up with older parents, older relatives that went through a lot. Been in wars, on sheriff’s department for riots etc. I heard a lot growing up. When you get older you understand and you know what you should say and not but if I am explaining something my dad or uncle said, I say it like it was told. Thats true telling, literature, writing whatever it is at that time
Yes! We can not suppress our History!