The artificial intelligent site I checked out provided the following observations regarding marriage. They’re matter of fact, built on statistics rather than personal observations. That doesn’t make them bad, just different.
The ones I developed for David, Elizabeth and Michael were “before” marriage guidelines. AI’s are more encompassing.
Align on Core Values
Shared beliefs about family, faith, lifestyle, and long-term goals help prevent conflict later.
Talk About Money Early
Be transparent about debt, savings, and spending habits. Money disagreements are one of the leading causes of divorce, so budgeting together is essential.
Commitment Beyond Love
Love is important, but commitment means staying together through challenges. It’s the promise to keep choosing each other even when life gets tough.
Practice Healthy Communication
Learn to listen without judgment, express needs clearly, and resolve disagreements respectfully. Couples who communicate well adapt better to change.
Discuss Children and Family Expectations
Whether you want kids, how many, and how you’ll raise them are conversations to have before marriage.
Assume Good Intentions
When conflicts arise, start from the belief that your partner means well. This reduces blame and builds trust.
Seek Pre-Marriage Counseling
Counseling or workshops can help couples explore differences, strengthen bonds, and prepare for lifelong partnership.
Stay Flexible and Curious
Marriage isn’t static—it evolves. Couples who remain curious about each other and adapt to life’s changes tend to thrive.
Ruth and I agreed on how we handled our finances. It took us a while to get it figured out but once we did it worked well. We agreed on housing, the use of our leisure time, and sometimes we agreed to disagree but stayed the course.
We sought help when we needed it. I never dreamt we would, but there came a time when we did. We talked things through with the help of others and kept on keepin on. Admitting our short comings to one another was key.
We both assumed we’d have children, but we never really discussed it until we weren’t having them. We checked things out to make sure our parts were working and they were, but Ruth just didn’t get pregnant. At one point we decided to stop worrying about it and let things work themselves out. Once we stopped trying, the kids started coming. Elizabeth was born two years after David. Micheal followed her by sixteen months.
If I had it to do over again, I’d do it just like that. In addition to being siblings, our three became best friends. And to top it off, when they decided to marry, they made great picks. I love all of them, and they love each other. That’s truly a blessing. Not all parents can say that.
I know, too, that Brady and Eva are best friends. While they have their typical brother/sister conflicts, they have one another’s back. Love has a way of helping us figure out what’s truly important.
I’m sure we can study the concept of marriage forever but sometimes it’s best to just trust your gut. If you want it to work, you can do it. Focus on what’s important and only the two partners know what that truly is.
Do I think the marriage rules are still good after thirty years? Yes! Are they perfect? No! We can study the concept forever and find varying opinions on what matters most.
As for Brady and Eva, and even four-and-three-quarter-old, Young Jackson James, read the rules, consider their intent, and trust the path you choose to follow. Don’t rush to find a lifelong partner. Take your time. I have faith in you.
In summary …
TBC