If You’re Reading This on Wednesday

If you’re reading this on Wednesday, my heart catheterization went smoothly yesterday. It was a follow-up to the one I had last April. I’ve had some lightheadedness and heavy legs lately, so my cardiologist thought it was wise to take another look. Sounds pretty dramatic, doesn’t it?

In any case, I’m going to be busy all day on Tuesday, so I expedited this blog by finishing it on Monday.

I first saw these words in the signature of an email from Barbara when I reached out about the Singles New Beginnings class she leads. She would include them, along with a Buddhist blessing, in nearly every email she sent. She still does most of the time. I loved the sentiment, so I saved the words in a draft folder to share someday. Today’s that day.

To love means loving the unlovable.
To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable.
Faith means believing the unbelievable.
Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.

The lines are attributed to G.K. Chesterton, an English writer and philosopher.

I asked my AI helper to write a quick summary of the quotation.  This is what I received.

There are days when love feels like work. Not the soft kind.  The kind that asks you to show up when every part of you wants to walk away. Loving the unlovable isn’t a grand gesture; it’s the quiet decision to stay human when life gives you every excuse not to.

Forgiveness is the same way. People talk about it like it’s noble, but most of the time it’s just necessary. You forgive the unforgivable because carrying it any farther would break something in you that you still need.

Faith… well, faith is stubborn. It’s choosing to believe when the evidence doesn’t cooperate. It’s holding on to a thread when the rope is gone.

And hope — hope is the most defiant thing we do. It’s looking at a situation that should have drained you dry and saying, “Not yet. I’m not done.”  

When I think about how the four apply to my life, love has been the easiest. I’ve had a supportive family from the start. I saw it as a child and tried to model it as a parent. My mom and dad made sure we kids had what we needed, though big splurges were rare.

They also showed how to flirt, something that can lead to romance, though I never saw them display much outward affection. Most of it was pretty superficial, and my kids would probably say the same about me.

My dad worked a lot to support us, so play was limited but special. He was more playful than my mom, and most of the fun happened on trips to the beach. That might be why Ruth and I bought a house at the lake. We wanted to play with our kids, and the water was fun for everyone.

Forgiveness has been my biggest weakness. I’ve always had high expectations for those around me, and while I’ve forgiven people who wronged me, I struggled when they wronged my family. I still hold a couple of grudges for those who hurt my parents, my kids, and later Ruth. I’ve tried to let go, but I haven’t succeeded.

Faith is another challenge. I tend to think of it in terms of religion, which I’m not a big fan of, since people keep changing the rules. I don’t believe right and wrong change. The Golden Rule, “Treat others as you would want to be treated”, is an idea found in many cultures, religions, and philosophies.

Ruth and I tried to live by it and guide our kids that way. We weren’t always perfect, but we did our best. Since losing her, I’m more convinced there’s more to life than just us. Too many unexplainable things have happened. Believing in something beyond this life is my version of faith.

As for hope, I’ve got plenty of it.  Sometimes I compare hope to luck.  My friend, Jim, thought the harder you worked, the more luck you had.  I think that’s true of hope.  If you want things to be different, you have to do them differently.

Right now, I don’t want to be alone all the time, so I’ve expanded my tribe.  I want to be healthier, so I’m taking better care of myself.  I should have been doing both for a long time, but I was content to just keep plodding along.  Losing Ruth, and my current health struggles, changed all that.  I just hope I’m not doing too little, too late.

If you’re reading this on Wednesday, I’ve got my fingers crossed.  I’ll do my best to keep on keepin on.  And thanks for the kind word you’ve sent my way.