Habits of Mind

I have a little bulletin board positioned above my desk in Florida.  I see it every day when I’m sitting at my computer and I change very little of it.  It’s got a place for storing envelopes, both legal and letter size, a postcard Ruth sent herself from Cuba in 2019, a post it note that has my longevity target date of March 3, 2041, and two handwritten pieces that Ruth stuck there.  I copied and posted one on my January 1, 2025, blog when I toasted in the New Year.  I’m sharing the second today.  She called it “Habits of Mind”.

“Habits of Mind” is a list of things that intelligent thinkers “are or have”.  Ruth found them interesting and wrote them down.  She looked at them every day.  Now I do.  Neither one of us used them all the time, but they’ve been close at hand for decades.  We talked about them off and on and she marveled at how few are used on a day-to-day basis.  They’re not that tough to remember and implement.

The “Habits of Mind” were developed by Dr. Arthur L. Costa and Dr. Bena Kallick, co-founders of the Institute for Habits of Mind at Harvard University. The framework is used by “effective thinkers and high performers.” Art and Bena identified sixteen habits, but when Ruth worked with them at Adrian Public Schools in the ’90s, she only noted thirteen. She shared them with our three kids and posted them for us to see. They seemed important to her then, and they still feel important to me now.

1. Persistent.
   Stick with a task even when it becomes difficult.
2. Ask Clarifying Questions.
   Ask questions that help make ideas or instructions clearer.
3. Delay Impulsivity.
   Pause before acting or speaking so choices are thoughtful.
4. Use All Their Senses.
   Gather information through sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell.
5. Listen with Empathy and Understanding.
   Listen with care and try to understand another person’s feelings and viewpoint.
6. Are Flexible.
   Be willing to adjust plans, thinking, or approaches when needed.
7. A Sense of Awe.
   Notice beauty, wonder, and the extraordinary in everyday life.
8. Think About Thinking (Metacognition).
   Be aware of your own thoughts and how you learn or solve problems.
9. Responsible Risk Takers.
   Try new things with courage while still using good judgment.
10. Accurate.
    Strive for precision. Check facts and aim to get things right.
11. A Sense of Humor.
    Find joy, playfulness, and lightness, even in challenging moments.
12. Able to Apply Past Knowledge.
    Use what you’ve learned from previous experiences to handle new situations.
13. Capable of Thinking Independently.
    Form your own ideas and opinions rather than simply following others.

I took the “Habits of Mind” Ruth recorded and ran them through an AI, asking it to sum up some of my thoughts on the current state of things. I’m frustrated with how often people just repeat others’ ideas instead of coming up with their own. The AI I use seems to pick up on what matters to me, which is a little unsettling but impressively accurate. Together, Ruth, the AI, and I came up with this.

You know, when I look around at what’s happening in our country, I don’t see a nation that’s broken. I see a nation that’s forgetting some of the things that once held us together.

We’ve gotten so busy talking that we’ve stopped listening. Real listening — the kind where you actually try to understand what someone else is feeling, not just wait for your turn to speak. When we lose that, we lose each other.

We’re also living in a time where truth feels slippery. People don’t know what to trust, so they grab whatever feels familiar or loudest. But accuracy still matters. Facts still matter. Slowing down long enough to think before reacting still matters. That’s not old‑fashioned — that’s responsible.

And then there’s the loneliness. We have more ways to “connect” than ever, yet people feel more isolated than they’ll admit. Community used to be something you could touch. Now it’s something you have to go looking for. But when we gather — really gather — something in us wakes back up.

Another thing I see is a shrinking curiosity. Somewhere along the way, we stopped asking questions. We stopped being willing to learn from people who see the world differently. Curiosity is not weakness. It’s courage. It’s how we grow.

And maybe the saddest loss of all is our sense of awe.  The ability to notice beauty, humor, and wonder in everyday life. When we stop seeing what’s good, we start believing everything is bad. But the world hasn’t run out of beauty. We’ve just stopped looking for it.

So, what do we do?  We go back to basics.

1. We listen with empathy.
2. We think for ourselves.
3. We check facts.
4. We stay flexible.
5. We take responsible risks.
6. We use what life has already taught us.
7. And we keep a sense of humor, because without that, none of this works.

The problems in this country are real.  But so is our ability to rise above them — one conversation, one choice, one moment of clarity at a time.
That’s the work.  And it’s work worth doing.

I think the three of us are right on. Now it’s your turn to think.  Give it a go all by yourself.  If you care to share, I’m happy to listen.