A Celebration

I went to a celebration last Wednesday.  It was a part of my weekly Singles New Beginnings class.  The group was originally formed a few years ago as a book study for women looking to start a new life.  They’d either lost, or never had, a male in their life and were seeking a new relationship.  During the fall of 2024, they decided to expand the group and welcome men into the fold.

I read an on-line description and signed up.  The original version didn’t mention me, but the current one does.

Singles New Beginnings is a discussion class for those ready to add new activities and people to their lives. Join this 12-week course any week. Register only once here to convey your name/contact info.

Materials: The Artist’s Way book, a spiral notebook, a 2-pocket folder for handouts.
Time commitment: ½ hour/day for journaling/written exercises.

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron is a popular classic self-help book. The book’s techniques and exercises empower you to create consciously instead of unconsciously. You will gain clarity and self-confidence. The focus of this course is practicing ways your relationships can grow in number and depth. Using these life-coaching processes we craft the meaningful lives we dream about. Instead of working alone, the company of like-minded people can make the difference between success and failure, hope and despair.,

Facilitators: Barbara Clevenger, founder of SNB, has long used and taught these life coaching processes. She facilitates 1 of the 3 weekly SNB classes in The Villages. She launches free SNB groups that become self-sustaining. Bob Tebo, a career educator, joined SNB to take a step forward in his life as a single man. His growth through the group inspired him to lead a group of individuals ready to engage in their next chapter.

Reviews

1. I discovered more about myself and feel much better at determining what is good for me and what isn’t. In the end, I got just what I was looking for in a life partner! CC
2. My self-awareness was tweaked along with my self-esteem. My worthiness has sparked an enthusiasm that is unfamiliar. JD
3. This group has been a major factor in me coming alive again. I want you to reach those who are looking and do not know. 🙂 MK

Wednesday’s meeting celebrated the fact that men became a part of the group on January 8, 2025.  I’ve written before that I was one of two men who showed up at that first meeting.  Neither one of us knew we were the first boys in the group. Now we both lead one.  The times, they are a changing.

Barbara had a handout for this week’s attendees.  It included a questionnaire.   I’ve completed a second copy for my blog.

If you had to describe your experience in this program using only three words, what would they be?   life-changing, comforting, friendly

Think back to your first week at Singles New Beginnings   When I first walked in, I felt:  Nervous.  I didn’t know what to expect but knew I was looking for something new.

Today, I feel:  Grateful for a new start.

One focus of SNB is taking small action steps. What is one thing you did that made a difference?  I spoke to and with the leader, Barbara, on the second day of class.  I told her that I’d like to have a conversation to get to know her better.  She redirected me to the rest of the women in class and said, “There’s a lot of nice women here.”  I took that as a rejection and moved on. 

I hadn’t approached a woman like that in over fifty years.  I just fumbled forward as best I could. I made a step towards a new beginning and it, ultimately, made a difference.

If someone was uncertain about attending, what would you tell them about why they should give it a try?  If you’re tired of your “old”, or simply looking for another way to make friends, give it a shot.  You have nothing to lose, and you may gain a great deal.

Describe a time where you felt truly “known” by the group.  After my third class, two of the women were talking about going dancing in the squares the following Friday.  I was standing nearby and they invited me to join them.  I went.  For seven weeks in a row I danced with anywhere from three to seven women and we had fun.  I was the only guy. When we weren’t dancing, we talked.  They learned about me and I learned about them.  We grew to love each other.  You can never have too many friends.

How has your view of your own “worthiness” or “self-esteem” changed?  I’ve never questioned my self-worth.  I’ve always known I had something to share.  What I did learn is that we’re more alike than different.  We don’t want to be alone.  We may not need, or want, a forever partner, but we want to have someone to talk with.  To share our story.  To help us figure things out.  If you’re alone all the time you may think you’re right all of the time.  Trust me, you’re not.

If you were talking to someone currently feeling lonely, what is the one thing you would tell them to give them hope?  You may be ok living alone, but you can always use a friend.  Married friends and single friends are different.  They have different priorities.  Married friends have a “we” point of view.  When two become one, that’s how they start looking at life.

Single friends think about “me” rather than “we”.   Some are content to sit by themselves and wait for life to come their way. I sat for over two years after Ruth died and finally said, I want something new.  I need a better version of me, so I started to live my life differently. I joined the group and found men and women just like me from all over the country.  We don’t want to be alone.  More importantly, we don’t want to be lonely.  Lonely sucks.

So, that’s it.  That’s what I think about the class.  It’s an important part of my life.   I look forward to going each week and I’ll miss it when I head north again.  That’s one of the reasons that I plan to sell my condo and move to The Villages full time.  I’ve found my new beginning and I’m going to live it.