Several years ago, when our three children and their spouses were celebrating somebody’s something somewhere, one of them allowed themselves to be “over-served”. As a result his, or her, behavior changed. The resulting misbehavior was cause for some concern. The “over-served” individual was singled out and told they were a “stain on the family crest”. Later, Elizabeth purchased a gold colored vest from Goodwill to signify the designation. The vest was presented to “the stain”.
At a second gathering some number of months later, a second violator was identified and the vest became a traveling trophy. It was determined that all future violators would carry “the stain”, and thus, hold the designation until another stain on the family crest reared his, or her, ugly head. The tradition as carried on for about a dozen years.
During a family discussion we determined that since we were taking the time to signal out questionable conduct we should, in turn, recognize exceptionally positive behavior. Outstanding behavior would be awarded “the golden monkey”. Each of us sought a fitting symbol to accompany the new designation. After an exhaustive search over several months, that took us to dozens of exotic locations, we found the perfect symbol. It’s a three inch golden monkey statue adorned with dozens of precious stones. It’s beautiful and a fitting symbol of this prestigious award.
We determined the two awards should not be awarded willy-nilly. The designation could only be made if six of the eight adults gathered. If the assembled group determined someone was worthy of the designation, a vote would be taken. We would identify a Golden Monkey whenever all eight adults were present but hoped a stain could be avoided. Golden Monkey designations would be made through a secret ballot, while stains would be made by public acclimation. I privately hoped that public shaming would lead to improved judgement. That has been the case.
Our oldest son, David, is the current holder of the Golden Monkey. He received the award at a gathering at his cottage in northern Michigan a couple summers ago. That was PC – Prior to Covid.
The last time the stain was awarded was about six years ago in Flagstaff, Arizona. Elizabeth and Sutton hosted the family for the Thanksgiving week-end. Prior to everyone’s arrival, their dog, Jonesy, ate a complete package of raw dinner rolls. We humans ate our dinner without them. Later, he devoured an entire pecan pie that Sutton had placed well outside his reach. Unfortunately, where there’s a will there’s a way, and Jonesy had the will. The entire group agreed he was “the stain”.
“The Stain” and Golden Monkey will be up for grabs when we gather for our fiftieth wedding anniversary next month. I know the Golden Monkey will be awarded. I pray “the stain” doesn’t raise its ugly head.
Update: We did indeed avoid the stain during our anniversary celebration. Ruth was awarded the Golden Monkey. It sits on the mantle above our fireplace in Michigan. Following her death, the kids decided it should be retired. No one can compete with her.