Life’s Different Now

The final MRNA (Mom, Ruth, Nana, Altogether) Invitational was held last Friday, April 11^th. This would have been Ruth’s seventy-eighth birthday.  I always looked forward to her birthday, in fact it was one of my favorite days of the year because for six weeks she was a year older than me.

The first year’s event was an Open. The last two were Invitationals meaning anyone could play in the first event and the last two were “invitation only”. The first year we had three teams, last year five and this year six. The best part for me is all of my kids and grandkids played this year. It can never be better than that.

During this year’s MRNA Invitational, we had a prize for the team with the lowest score, a closest to the pin hole for both the women and men, and the final hole featured the “circle of love”. MRNA wouldn’t have it any other way.

This year’s rules were as follows:

1. It was a nine-hole event. The course featured seven parr threes and three parr fours making parr for the course a total of 30.
2. Each person teed off from the tee of his/her choosing. That’s how MRNA played. There were five sets of tees. An individual could change tees from hole to hole. Each player picked what suited them best because that’s how MRNA played.
3. After each person hit his/her initial shot, the team selected its best shot, and each person hit from there. That continued until a ball was holed. One score for the team was recorded on the official score card provided by the Invitational Committee Chairman.
4. If a selected shot was in a sand bunker, it was thrown with a hand wedge. Any person who used a golf club had his/her team penalized two strokes. MRNA would approve.
5. A prize was awarded to the first-place team. Each member received a commemorative memento chosen by the Invitational Committee Chairman. The Committee Chairman was eligible for the coveted prize, but his team fell short of its goal. There was no award for second place. Second place is the first loser.
6. There were no Mulligans and no Gimmies. One man’s gimmie was another’s three putt.
7. Players rolled their ball in both the fairway and rough. They were gonna do it, so we gave them the green light.
8. And the biggy, each player could only use three clubs and a putter. MRNA played that way for decades. She played golf much like she lived by making up rules that suited her best.

This year’s participants included:

Dick and Tammy who created the first MRNA Tournament.  I thought it was a wonderful way to honor a woman so many people loved. They’ve been very supportive of me during the past three years. Ruth and I met them through some friends from Nebraska, Jo and Jerry.

Jo couldn’t play this year, but Jerry did. He’s played all three. The two of them were our first friends in our new neighborhood. We met in 2017. They’ve been rocks for me when I needed something to hold on to. They also introduced us to Gene and Julie.

Gene and Julie couldn’t play this year as they had baby-sitting duties for their grandson. I forgave them for not playing because I know they loved Ruth and would of if they could of. They also introduced us to Rick and Nick.

Rick is Gene’s brother and Nick is Rick’s son. They loved Ruth too and the four of us played golf on several occasions. As Gene says, you don’t meet his brother, Rick, you experience him. Nick’s a chip off the old block.

Ruth’s sister, Kathy, has played all three years. She lost a piece of her heart much like I did when Ruth died. She learned along with me that sudden loss is a bitch.

Two of Kathy’s friends, Darla and Paul, played. Ruth was grateful that Kathy has both of them in her life. Darla’s a friend she met in The Villages and Paul was her high-school sweetheart. She needed them both after her divorce.  You can never have too many friends.

One of our David friends played the past two years. He’s been my friend for forty-eight years. We were young and foolish when we met. Sometimes we still are. He and his wife, Anne, are the primary reason we moved to the Tullymore golf community.  Ruth loved it there.

Suzzette and one of her twin sons, Jason, played the last two years. I modeled Ruth’s Celebration of Life after her husband, Dirk’s celebration. It’s the only goodbye I thought was truly meaningful. She and her boys talked about a man who touched their souls. Their words helped us understand that it’s the people in our lives, not the things, that truly matter.

Jason has been one of my kids’ friends throughout their entire lives. He spoke at Ruth’s memorials and proved that the boy who used to help himself to the food in our refrigerator, and lusted after my daughter, has become a man of substance.

Nate played for the first time this year. We shared a best friend, Jim. Jim passing ripped us both up. Nate helped me raise money for Jim’s scholarship fund. He took care of Florida, and I took care of Michigan. When I needed a place for Ruth’s Florida Celebration of Life, he found it for me. It was perfect. It looked like she designed it for herself.

And while they didn’t play in the tournament, Jim’s widow, Diane, and my sister, Jackie, were on hand to take care of my grandson, Young Jackson James. At four years old, he wasn’t eligible to play. Diane and Jackie lost a best friend when Ruth died, and Jackson lost his Nana. He turned eighteen months old that day.  One of the last things she did was put a twenty-dollar bill in an “owl shaped bank” that she kept for him.

The final eight participants were David and Lindsay, Elizabeth and Sutton, Michael and Kate, and my GRANDchildren, Brady and Eva. Ruth loved them above all else. I have no words for them. Just a heart full of love. The best part for me is they all love each other. Not every father can say that. I’m a lucky man.

I’ve decided that this year’s MRNA will be the last. It’s the first time that all my kids and GRANDchilden have been on hand. Some of the most important things in my life have come in sets of three. Three kids, three new kids through marriage that led to three GRANDchildren and now three MRNA Tournaments. I don’t know if we can pull this off again so, I think it’s best to quit while we’re ahead.

Whenever one of the kids asked how I was doing after Ruth passed, my standard reply was “life’s different now”. It truly is.