I first wrote this tale in December 2017. It was the eleventh story I posted. This one is number 881. I’ve fixed a few spelling errors from the original and worked on making it feel more like I’m telling the story rather than just writing it down. The intent remains the same, but the delivery has changed.
I turned seventy this year. Turned is how my wife and granddaughter refer to birthdays. We turn. It’s a turning day.
When you’re young, you’re happy to celebrate birthdays because they come with presents, birthday cakes and a rousing song. As you get older, you’re happy to just have them. They’re a positive sign that things are moving forward, and you’re still a part of the movement. That’s a good thing.
Recently, I’ve experienced a number of people referencing the aging process. I met with my broker this summer to make arrangements to start drawing from my investments. You’re required to withdraw from your IRA when you reach 70 and a half. I haven’t referred to my age in such increments since I was in single digits. Five and a half is a big deal with you reach that half. Five…five and a half…six…six and a half – you see the pattern. Those are six-month milestones as you click through the early years. The only time the half comes into play as you age is 70 and a half. BINGO! That’s me.
I’m in the process of establishing a new doctor in Florida. My wife and I are snowbirds. We spend our summers in Michigan and winters in Florida. Spring and fall are up for grabs. I thought it would be a good idea to locate a doctor in Florida before I need a doctor in Florida. I’m channeling my inner boy scout…be prepared.
When you meet a new doctor, they want to know about your medical history. There are forms to fill out, questions to answer, lists to compile, and personal self-discovery physical inventories to assess. I developed my own list of acronyms to review with the doctor. While most of us are familiar with ED, you may not be familiar with others.
HT – hammer toe
GTH – gray thinning hair
TL – takes longer (This applies to everything. My world just takes longer.)
ST – skin tags
WEBH – wild eyebrow hair
EH – ear hair
TT – thickening toenails
SS – spine spurs
LC – leg cramps
CH – chest hair (A lot of guys have chest hair but most of it in patches. Mine is a singular four-inch hair scattered randomly.)
PPS – poor pee stream
DHTGBAFAIUT – Don’t hit the golf ball as far as I used to
You get the picture. As you age things change. You establish a new baseline. You’re told, “That’s normal for a man your age.”
The problem is I’ve never been this age before so I’m unfamiliar with this new territory. I expect this new normal will be a constant evolution. While there’s some comfort in knowing I’m normal, I’m missing the normal I was in my 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. I’m also hoping they say, “That’s normal for a man your age” as I reach my 80’s and 90’s.
Last week I unknowingly put on my golf shirt inside out. Ruth looked at me during dinner and asked if I’d worn the shirt that way all day. I had to reply, yes, as it was the truth, and I only tell true stories. I told her I put it on the way it was hanging in the closet. She replied she hung it up as it was left in the laundry. My guess is both actions are normal for men and women our age. She’s 70 and a half too.
I was reminded of this story when Barbara and I played cards earlier this week with my friends Jo and Jerry. On the day I met them back in 2017, I wore my shirt inside out and ended up writing about it. Despite my error, we’ve been friends ever since. While our friendship remains, other things have changed. I think they’re still pretty normal for a man my age.
The doctor I started seeing in 2017 has since been joined by several others. I have a cardiologist, dermatologist, urologist, podiatrist, orthopedist, ENT specialist, and there may be a vein specialist in my future. I don’t have a proctologist. I hope I never do. Still, I’ve averaged adding a least one new doctor a year since I found my first. I’m not complaining. Just stating the facts.
The list of acronyms I came up with in 2017 has changed. I still have all my originals. Some conditions are even worse. New ones tend to deal with my mental acuity.
TICM -Things I can’t remember
SICF -Socks I can’t find
ISCUTCAOMP – I still can’t use the calendar app on my phone
The good news is, as far as I know, I haven’t worn my shirt inside out again. I must admit that day might come. I make it a habit to check the mirror before heading out and sort through my laundry when I wash my clothes. Ruth taught me that. I try to hang on to the life lessons that come my way. I hope learning from my past will help my future. I think that’s normal for a man my age.