While I’m deciding what stays in Michigan and what goes to Florida, I’ve had to make some difficult choices. Barbara mentioned “curating” things. In case you’re not familiar with the term, this is what google says.
To curate something means to carefully select, organize, and present items in a way that creates a desired effect. The term comes from the role of a curator in museums or galleries, where they choose and arrange artifacts or artworks to tell a cohesive story or convey a particular theme.
Curating involves:
- Selection – Choosing the most relevant, high-quality, or meaningful items from a larger pool.
- Organization – Arranging them in a logical, thematic, or aesthetically pleasing way.
- Presentation – Displaying or sharing them so they are engaging, informative, or impactful for the audience.
I never thought about it before, but I’ve been curating my life for over three and a half years. I’m adding, subtracting and rearranging things almost every day. All of it is the result of Ruth’s passing. If she hadn’t died, I’d be doing none of it.
I wouldn’t have rearranged my Florida bedrooms or added the set of twin beds to provide for more guests. I gained the space by eliminating Ruth’s craft area and getting rid of the reclining couch we shared to watch TV. She seldom used the area, opting to do most of her work at the dining room table and inviting her friends to join her.
I wouldn’t have gone through the kitchen cabinets and drawers to explore all the gismos and gadgets stored within. I wouldn’t know what a garlic press is or how to use it. I wouldn’t have purged the duplicate items and arranged the survivors neatly in a drawer making them easier to find. Barbara taught me that.
I wouldn’t have examined the piece of art sitting on my Florida stove between two sets of salt and pepper shakers that the healthier me never uses. And if I hadn’t picked it up and read the inscription, I wouldn’t have remembered that Eva made it for us for Christmas eight years ago. But I did, so I do.
If Ruth was still here I wouldn’t have hosted a New Year’s Eve party last January for some of my new single friends and I wouldn’t have asked Eva to wrap forty covetted gifts to distribute as party favors for my guests. I gathered them from my Florida drawers and cupboards. I’ve started gathering an additional collection in case I throw another party this year. That’s the “always be prepared” boy scout part of me.
You collect a lot of things in almost eighty years. My grandparents gave me some of the items I covet. Grandpa Tebo was born over a hundred and fifty years ago in 1875. I already gave David “The Special Police” badge he wore when he oversaw the operation of Mt Clemens’ Shady Side Park in the 1930’s, 40’s, and 50’s. And while I don’t have any photos, I have the stories my dad told about helping “Pa” run the sand scow in the section of the Clinton River that ran through the park. They’re locked in my brain.
I still have my Grandpa Barner’s tobacco farming ledger from 1919 when he raised Kentucky tobacco and bought and sold mules to fill the time between the planting and harvest. There are entries for both the tobacco and the mules. They stopped in 1924 when hoof and mouth disease infected his animals. After putting them down, he headed to Detroit with Grandma Barner, my mom, and Aunt Ruth.
I have some of his school books dating back to first grade. The curriculum was tougher back then. I don’t think today’s fourth or fifth graders could handle the first grade curriculum. I’ve curated them but I’m not going to put them on a shelf.
I am going to pack up a couple pieces of the hand painted china that Grandma Barner painted and I’ll display them in Florida. She was truly an artist.
I gave my sister, Sharron, the rolling pin that my Grandma Tebo brandished when she made cinnamon rolls back in the day. No one made them better than her so there’s no need to try. It’s simply impossible.
I’ll keep sorting and selecting because I can’t take it all with me. There’s just not enough room. What I can do is keep curating.
If I take too much to display at one time, I’ll shuffle things up once in awhile. Curators rearrange things all the time, and now that I’m one, that’s what I’m going to do.
TBC