About a week ago, a man came by to discuss painting the exterior of my house. Whether it was coincidence or not, I had already been considering some maintenance tasks in Florida, with painting on the list. After nine years, the hot sun has faded the original color, and I thought it could use a fresh look. Back in the day, I would have handled it myself, but those days are behind me.
Several years ago, I decided I’m no longer spending my money, I’m spending my kids’ inheritance. Any improvements I make now are simply protecting their investment.
The painting company was working on a house down the street, and the owner took the chance to knock on a few doors to see if neighbors wanted their homes painted. When he asked me, I admitted I’d been thinking about it and asked, “What would you charge?” He gave me a price, and I paused. After a moment, he said, “You have a corner lot, so a sign in your yard would be helpful,” and he dropped the price by three hundred dollars. I kept pondering my options and invited him to look at my lanai. “What would you charge to paint the floor?” He quoted another price, noting that this paint was more expensive, which I already knew. I still didn’t commit.
I told him, “I need to know more about you and your company.” He offered references, addresses, and a website. After investigating, I decided to move forward. As we finalized the deal, he asked about painting the lanai floor again. I paused once more, and he dropped the price and threw in the ceiling for free. Pausing paid off. Each time I paused he dropped the price or threw in additional work.
I thought a bit about the power of my pause and googled how we all take a pause now and then. The google guys came up with this.
- Financial pause: stepping back from spending, investments, or major purchases.
- Career pause: taking a sabbatical, early retirement period, or time to reassess goals.
- Religious or spiritual pause: retreating for reflection, prayer, meditation, or study.
- Romantic pause: giving a relationship space to heal, evaluate, or gain perspective.
- Friendship pause: reducing contact to allow emotions, conflicts, or life changes to settle.
- Membership pause: temporarily leaving clubs, organizations, or subscriptions.
- Social media pause: unplugging from constant online interaction.
- Health pause: slowing down activities to recover from illness or burnout.
- Educational pause: stepping away from classes or training to regroup.
- Family pause: setting boundaries to create healthier relationships.
- Travel pause: remaining home to save money or reconnect with daily life.
- Volunteer pause: resting from service to prevent exhaustion.
- Creative pause: stepping away from writing, painting, or other projects to regain inspiration.
- Decision-making pause: delaying an important choice until emotions settle.
- Personal growth pause: intentionally creating space for self-examination and direction.
I’ve reflected on the list as it relates to my life. I’ve always been a planner, focused on my next steps. I’ve taken a decades-long break from church because I don’t agree with the manmade rules church imposes. I do believe there’s something more, so I consider myself spiritual. Ruth’s loss has only strengthened that belief.
I’ve joined and left clubs and volunteer positions, distanced myself from conflicts with friends and family, stepped away from financial commitments to save for the next big thing, and used social media sparingly. I’ve opted to post my own content rather than repost others.
I’ve delayed decisions, sometimes letting opportunities pass rather than chasing promoted claims. I changed jobs when it suited me rather than being forced to move on. I’ve continued learning only in areas I’ve chosen to focus on and limited my travel to countries that claim to like us. I’ve worked on creative projects of my own choosing.
My biggest claim to fame—and possibly my biggest detriment—is that once I commit, I follow through. I do my best to be true to my word. I don’t shy away from telling the truth, though I have been known to exaggerate. I learned both of those from my dad.
My biggest pause took place when I was dating Ruth. The google guys would call it a romantic pause. She became interested in another guy, so I stepped back. I didn’t want the competition. Once she saw the light, we reconnected and were married for fifty-one years and sixteen days. That pause paid off with three kids, their three amazing spouses, and three GRANDchildren. It’s a real bonanza.
I don’t believe any of my pauses have stopped my growth. I do get lazy from time to time, but I do my best to honor my commitments and keep moving forward. It’s sometimes difficult but always the right thing to do.
I think some of my most productive lessons took place while I was standing still. A pause allowed me to heal, reflect, reassess, and redirect. Some pauses lasted a minute, some an hour, and many a month or more. I learned a bit from each one.
Being alone and always right with my own thoughts lasted two and a half years. During those years I didn’t have anyone to challenge me so I thought I was always right. I wasn’t. My biggest take away from that is we all need someone to challenge us from time to time. It helps to hear another point of view and debrief a bit.
Sometimes the most productive step forward is simply stopping long enough to understand where you truly want to go. I’m working on that.
And other times a meaningful pause can help you get a deal on a paint job. Bingo.